‘That are about to collide when your friends visit,’ Lola summed up.
Alice took a long drink of tea. ‘What if they want to talk about Jill all the time?’
‘You talk about her with us. Would it be such a bad thing?’
‘But none of you knew her. They all knew her, almost as well as I did, and they’ll be able to bring up memories, anecdotes, conjure her up at any moment and I won’t be able to control it.’
‘You could ask them not to speak about her?’
‘It’s not even just the things they say, though. It’ll be . . . Theresa wearing earrings that Jill gave her, or Kemi saying an expression that Jill used to say that we’ve all long forgotten who said first. It’s looking at the three of them and not seeing the fourth.’
Lola sighed, feeling bad for her friend. ‘I know, it must be painful. But tell them that; they’re your friends and it’s okay for them to know you’re still sad. I think they’ll be really impressed, though – I can see you’re trying and you’re getting there, and I think your friends will too. I’m sure they’ll notice a big difference in you.’
Alice thought about this and then said, with a half-smile, ‘What if they think I’mtoobetter and have forgotten all about Jill?’
‘Woman!’ Lola threw her hands in the air. ‘Anybody ever told you that you overthink things? Listen, why don’t you tell them about your new boyfriend? That’s a sure fire way to get the conversation moving in another direction.’
Alice laughed. ‘He’s not my boyfriend.’
‘Really. What is he then? Your companion? Your lobster? Yourlover?’
‘He’s just my . . . Marco.’
‘Yeah, yeah. Right, I’m gonna run next door and grab some nosh before hitting the slopes again. Thanks for the cuppa, and good luck with the drawing.’
After Lola had gone, Alice sat back in front of her sketch pads, but still her thoughts couldn’t focus on things doggie. Bear had been her primary focus – her reason for getting out of bed, her trigger to move to Switzerland, the thing she felt lost without over Christmas – ever since the incident. Now it felt like the other part of her, the part that remembered whoshewas and what had happened toher, had opened a door and peeped out.
Alice let her out.
