Rada’s hand cupped my face. “Remember,” she said softly, “I saved your life here once before. You’re terribly careless for a god, always getting into trouble.” Her tone was light, but I could hear the tears in it.
“As long as I have you to save me,” I replied, opening my eyes. From my place on her lap, I could see the slight tremble of her lips. “How bad is it?” I asked.
“You tell me,” she replied. “You lost a lot of blood. I managed to staunch the bleeding, but I cannot drag you back to Aron-Lyr for Kyree to heal you.”
My eyes drifted down to my chest, to the makeshift bandage she had wrapped around me. She had sacrificed part of her skirt for it, judging by the bloodstained green fabric. Another bandage in the same color was wrapped around her left calf. I recalled how she had stumbled during the battle with Deira’s roots; she was injured as well.
“Rakash?” I murmured, nodding toward her wound.
Her silver eyes locked onto mine, a fierce intensity burning within them. “No,” Rada growled down at me. “Kritak. Care to explain how one of those creatures ended up in alyr-stone splinter?”
“Stars above,” I groaned, realizing Deira’s threats had been anything but idle. “I am so sorry. I hoped no one would be foolish enough to actually use those Chaos splinters. They are dangerously unpredictable.” A wave of guilt washed over me. “Did you kill it?”
“Yes,” she replied, her expression still stern but her fingers tenderly combing through my hair. “But not before it destroyed the henhouse.”
Fuck. No wonder she was angry at me.
“It’s so cold,” I said after a while, unable to suppress the violent shiver that coursed through my body. Shadows began to creep into my vision again, and I suspected they had nothing to do with magic. I pressed my face against Rada, savoring her comforting warmth. “You’re warm, though,” I murmured, closing my eyes. “So wonderfully warm.” A rough laugh escaped me. “Like a fire in the night.”
“Belekoroz.” Rada’s voice sharpened above me, though her touch remained gentle. “You have to stay with me.” Her hair brushed over my face, her next words whispered against my skin like a fervent prayer. “Please. Don’t leave me. I couldn’t bear it.”
Forcing my eyes open was an almost insurmountable task. But seeing her beautiful face so close to mine made it worth it. She looked pale and worried.
“I wanted to give up so many times.” The confession slipped outbefore I could stop it. “Just move a bit too slowly in a fight. Let some nameless mercenary’s blade end it all.Lyr, it probably would have been no more than I deserved.”
Rada’s face twisted with anguish at my words. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Despite the pain it caused me, I instinctively reached up to catch them.
“But I looked up to the sky and saw your stars,” I murmured. “And I remembered you were still out there, that somewhere your heart was still beating. And if there was a chance, even a small, insignificant chance, that I would see your beautiful face just one more time, it would be worth every moment of pain and despair I had to endure.”
Something in her eyes broke. “Why did you do this, you impossible man?” she said. “You must have known what they would do to you. Briseis and Varien mean nothing to you.”
I smiled at her. She was so lovely in this light. It reminded me of the first time I had kissed her.
“They mean something to you.”
A harsh sob escaped her, one hand covering her mouth.
She was crying because of me. The realization slowly sank into my hazy mind.
“I am not worth your tears,saeraery,” I said, trying in vain to stem the hot flood wetting my fingers.
A bright and unrelenting light blazed through the anguish in Rada’s gaze. Her hands captured mine. “You were worth my joy and my pleasure. How can you not be worth my sorrow and my pain?” She shook her head. “We cannot have one without the other.”
With a deep breath, she shifted slightly beneath me, lifting something into my line of sight—a Chaosdagger.
“The use of Chaos would revive you, wouldn’t it?” she asked, a hopeful look on her face.
“Yes,” I murmured. It had become a struggle to focus on her words. “But I am completely burned out. I can’t even sense a whisper of magic right now.”
Rada paused, her gaze lingering on me for what felt like an eternity. “Fine,” she finally conceded. “In that case, I will use it.”
“No. I know how much you despise—”
“The reminder that Chaos flows through me as effortlessly as it does through you?” she interrupted, her expression turning resolute. “It’s true. But I won’t hesitate if it means saving you.”
“Baradaz…”
She was already moving, ignoring my plea. Something smooth and warm pressed into my hand. The dagger’s hilt pulsed with energy as she guided our joined hands around it. I watched with a mixture of awe and apprehension as she leaned closer, Chaos shimmering in her eyes, signaling that she was summoning the magic.
