“Well Happy Birthday, girl. You’re going to be a star,” he adds, and we all clink our glasses together with a smile. Everyone cheers.
And I look down at Amanda who plants a kiss on my cheek.
Later on, after a grueling meeting with Avery and my father that I choose to leave Amanda out of because it’s just going to be us fighting, I make my way down the hallway of the BlueJay. Avery is out with Zoe, getting drunk most likely. My father has retired back to his hotel room where he will watch the History Channel and pass out with a modest meal provided via room service (he doesn’t eat a lot. Never has. And since getting sick, it’s gotten worse). I run into Noah and Cass who look to be headed out the door as well.
“You coming out with us?” Noah asks.
“Not tonight. I’m beat.”
“Already? But we are in Music City! And the night is young!”
“Yeah well I’m not,” I make a joke at my own expense. “And that was exhausting.”
“Fair enough. But you’re not spending every night that we are here locked in your hotel room.”
“Deal,” I agree with him, and he gives me a bro-hug as the kids call it before they disappear out the front door. Honestly, I am ready to close up and head to the hotel and crash. But then I hear the soft strumming of a guitar coming from the recording room.
I make my way down the hallway and stop. I have heard Amanda sing before, but not like this. Maybe it’s the equipment, the way her voice sounds coming through high end speakers. Maybe it’s that no one is listening…or so she thinks.
But her voice, feathery and gritty yet graceful, is what stops me. My heart swells against my ribcage and my breath snags in my throat.
Amanda is sitting on the floor, cross legged, with the guitar in her lap. The mics are on her, ear buds in, but she isn’t recording. It’s more so she can hear herself and drown out everything else.
I know the feeling…
I stand in front of the soundboard and listen as her voice fills the room, pouring through my senses like a current.
“People see the flowers and they think of you. The one who’s shining off the petals like you always do. But me I just sit back, and I enjoy the view. Because while you’re the center of the universe I orbit from afar. Spinning ‘round in circles in the dark. When you don’t show your face people don’t know who you are. When your shadow is darker than your light is bright you can’t be the chosen one. Cuz I am just the moon hidden behind the sun.”
I am about to hit record, just so I can have it. So, I can tuck whatever magic that was away like a secret for my eyes and ears only. But Amanda stops and she sighs.
“Too many words,” she whispers.
“Beautiful words,” I say, and she jumps.
“How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to hear something gorgeous.”
There is a hint of a smile, but she hides it. “It’s a mess.”
I walk through the door and sit on the stool above her. “Is it yours?”
“Yeah. I’ve been working on it for a long time. Years actually. It’s funny how when you ghost music, it just flows. But when you write for yourself, things don’t come out right.”
“That’s because it’s about your own heart. And that’s…
“Messy,” she says the word again and we both smile.
Then I join her on the floor. “Can I suggest something?”
Amanda holds the guitar out to me, and I take it. Then, for the first time in a very long time, I start to play.
Chapter 24
Amanda
Iwatch as Callum starts to play.
