“I don’t even know who half those people are.”
“Neither do I honestly,” she laughs a little. “Most of them are family and friends and coworkers of Paul’s. I swear to God that man networks like it’s an Olympic sport. I feel like every day of my life is saturated with formal dinners and brunches and meetings. It’s never ending. Some days I just want to curl up on the couch with a bag of chips in an oversized shirt and just not care, you know? Watch Schitt’s Creek and ignore people.”
I smile at that. “Does he know that? Does he know the real you?”
“I think he does. Because sometimes, when he is about to ask if I want to go to a business thing with him, I pretend I am sick. And I think he knows I am pretending. But he sends dinner and it’s always something fattening. And he saves trashy movies on the to-be-watched list and there’s no way he’s saving them for himself. I think it’s important to compromise when it’s love.But you can’t do that without some kind of communication, you know?”
My sister has a tendency to be about as deep as a kiddie pool most of the time. But once in a while, she surprises me. This is apparently one of those times.
“I guess if I am being brutally honest, I am afraid. Afraid he never had real feelings for me. But also, afraid his feelings were real all along. Afraid he doesn’t want the baby but at the same time, afraid he does. And I don’t know what that will look like. I guess I am mostly afraid that this whole game we have been playing, this whole thing we have given into will turn out to be too crazy. It doesn’t feel real. But it was. And I gave into it. And it terrifies me to think of what will happen if it doesn’t work out.”
“I get that,” Kate says genuinely. Then she hops up. “All this MSG is making me hungry for ice cream. Why don’t we make a 3 Scoops run and grab some?”
“That sounds amazing,” I admit, and Kate pulls me to my feet. A small part of my broken heart feels a little better.
“This was the best idea ever,” Kate says with a full mouth of peanut butter swirl.
“I agree,” I nod, munching on my coconut almond chocolate chip. “Ice cream is never not a good idea.”
We are sitting in the parking lot at the ice cream shop in my car enjoying our cones before we head back home.
“You know what else is a good idea?” Kate asks. “Music.”
“Mm, that reminds me,” I say, pulling an envelope out of the glovebox. Inside is a cassette.
Kate’s eyes widen and she squawks out a laugh. “I cannot believe that you still listen to tapes! You do know what year it is, right?”
“I will never not listen to tapes,” I say in my own defense. “I use them for work. This is a demo I am supposed to listen to for some new artist. Noah dropped it off yesterday and has been asking nonstop if I’ve listened to it yet.”
“Is that the reason you haven’t gotten a new car? They don’t make em with eight tracks anymore?”
I roll my eyes and flip her off, sweetly of course. “Shut up and listen to the song.”
We both eat our ice cream as the cassette crackles before the music begins to play. It’s guitar, acoustic. And it sounds vaguely familiar.
“Is this…Bob Dylan?” Kate asks with a laugh. “Did your new artist rip a song?”
It is Bob Dylan. The intro to one of his songs.
And it’s Callum singing it.
“Oh, my God is this…” Kate starts to ask.
“It’s Callum.”
Her mouth opens in a smile, and she covers it with her hand. “He’s serenading you. Not sure why he’d choose Dylan but…wow.”
I lean back against the seat staring out the windshield in front of me. My ice cream is melting slowly down my hand, but I don’t care. I can’t stop listening. I can’t stop the feelings in my chest. The song gets to the second verse, though, and the lyrics are different.
I made a mistake, I think it’s safe to say I made a few.
And now that girl is riding on the wind.
She won’t look back, she’s taken my heart with her.
All I can do is try to win her love again.
I know my hardened heart hasn't always been a friend of mine.
