I don’t wait for an answer, I just hang up. Why I thought calling Amanada’s sister would be a good idea is beyond me. Even when they are on good terms, the woman is a spoiled, self-centered brat who probably doesn’t even know her sister’s life is falling apart.
No, that’s the kind of thing someone who actually gives a shit would know. And I know firsthand that that person isn’t always going to be a sibling. That’s best friend material.
“Iris,” I say her name as soon as she answers the phone.
“I’m sorry, who is this?”
“Callum Hardin,” I answer, praying she won't hang up on me. Or reach through the phone and strangle me with the cord. Not that we are talking on a land line. But you know what I mean.
“Callum, hello.”
I can’t read her British tone. British people sound lovely even when they’re cross. If she is upset with me I have no idea. So, I take my chances and keep talking.
“I was wondering if you have heard from Amanda recently.”
“I have…” she trails off. It’s not the information I am digging for but it’s better than the last conversation. Unlike Kate, Iris cares that Amanda is hurting. In short, she’s not a raging bitch.
“I have been trying to talk to her for days now. And I haven’t seen her at work. I’m getting worried and I thought that maybe–”
“The thing about Amanda, Callum, is that she isn’t easy to break. But once she does, she’s very difficult to put back together.”
I take in a breath and let it out, pressing my hand to the glass of the window in my office. “If I could just talk to her–”
“That’s the thing. She’s hurt. She doesn’t want to talk.”
“Then how am I supposed to fix it? Iris please. I need to talk to her. I need to tell her that I was selfish and guarded and…scared. Loving her scares me.”
The last sentence comes out slow because it wasn’t until just now that I realized that. And it makes everything…everything…make sense.
“Callum, listen to me,” Iris’ voice is soft. Caring. Real. “I am rooting for you. I’ve known since day one that she was smitten with you. But because of that, I want to protect her. She’s pregnant. With your child. And she feels scared and alone.”
“She doesn’t have to be alone, Iris. I don’t want her to feel alone.”
“But she does. And until she opens the door, she is going to keep feeling that way. But the door can’t be forced. I’m sorry.”
The call ends and I sit down at my desk. I feel utterly defeated. I want to bust that door down. To toss it aside and pull Amanda into my arms and tell her she doesn’t have to be afraid or alone or any of it.
But I can’t. I know I can’t. Because Iris is right. Amanda has to come to me when she is ready. And until then, I have to be patient. It’s not a forte of mine but it’s necessary.
So, I pull out my phone and I do the only thing I can think of to show her that I still care. That I’m not going anywhere.
I order more flowers.
Chapter 36
Amanda
“Amanda, we need you.”
“And you have me.”
“At home though? Surely your set up there is nothing like the one at Hardin.”
Noah is right. My in-house recording studio is NOTHING like what I was working with at Hardin. That’s half the heartbreak I am feeling right now. But I just can’t be there. I can’t walk around those halls wondering if I’ll see Callum. I can’t stop hearing the argument we had in my head.
I was going to tell you.
Oh, were you? When?
