If only I hadn’t needed to lie.
If only I hadn’t been undercover.
If only things hadn’t gone so life-threateningly wrong. I gripped the steering wheel as the familiar signs of panic set in and forced myself to focus on Ashley.
Ashley nodded. A tear made a slow trek down her perfect face.
“I don’t want his baby,” she whispered. “I never want to see him again.”
It’d be a nightmare trying to keep Finn away from her and her child, but she had a team of trained professionals who’d protect them, including me.
“Hey, it’ll be okay. We’ll find a way to make everything okay.” I was already talking as if we were a team. A couple.
“How can you say that with everything going on?”
“Because you’re tough, Slick. You’ll rise above his bullshit. And I won’t let him hurt you.” I promised, glancing at her still-flat belly. “Either of you.”
Instead of thanking me, she cried some more.
“Talk to me,” I said, reaching over to put my hand on her shoulder. I wanted to hold her hand, but she was wringing it in her lap. “Tell me what’s going through that beautiful head of yours.”
She choked out a laugh, clearly doubting my sincerity.
“I’m not beautiful, I’m puffy.” She wiped the tears off her face.
“You can be both.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted to say yes. To give you a second chance.” She sniffed. “But how could I?”
Sensing she had more to say, I waited.
“What man wants to date a pregnant woman?”
Me. Becoming a father wasn’t on my radar, but I wasn’t opposed to it. A big, loving family was something I’d never had, but wanted. It wouldn’t matter if the kids were mine by DNA or adoption. I’d love them, provide for them, and keep them safe. The way I always imagined my parents would’ve done, had they lived.
And I want it with Ashley.
We hadn’t even gone on a proper date, so how could I admit my feelings without sounding crazy?
Calmly. Honestly. Carefully.
Later.
“Ashley, you’re not dumb. I’d still like a second chance, despite how different it looks.”
“You want to date someone who’s unemployed, lives with her grandmother, and oh, that’s right, is pregnant with another man’s baby?” The laugh that escaped her lips was a little scary. “Are you insane?”
None of that mattered. I could easily support her. And would, if our relationship turned into more.If she’ll let me. But that wasn’t what she needed to hear. “You’ll find another job, and you’re taking care of your grandmother.”
I felt her staring at me, waiting for me to address the third part of her question.
Taking the time to find the right words proved useless; when I opened my mouth, the blunt truth came out. “You’re fucking amazing, Ashley, so, yes, I still want to date you.”
She mumbled something, but instead of asking her to repeat it, I asked, “Do you still want to be seen with me despite the huge scar running down my face?” It was a stupid question, since she hadn’t shied away from it, but I asked to prove a point.
“What kind of stupid question is that?” she shot at me.
I laughed. “Ashley, how I feel about you doesn’t change because of a minor hiccup.”
