With the help of a good therapist, and many late nights drinking beer with Kroupa while staring into a fire pit, I’d regained some of my former myself. It was time I reclaimed my life and making myself useful again was at the top of my list.
“It would’ve been my last undercover op,” I said.
“Why was that?”
Even before meeting Ashley, I knew the Perpura op would be my last undercover job with Hawken’s.
“I wanted to be me again, no more living under my alias. I’m too old for the demands of deep undercover work, and if I’m being completely honest, I was tired of the bachelor lifestyle.”
After the Perpura op, I planned to shift gears and move to the less demanding personal protection branch of the business. But nothing went as planned.
“How much longer did you have when you met Ashley?”
“A day. A week at most.”
That mission had cost me everything. My confidence, my outgoing personality, and it almost cost me my life.
During my SEAL days, I was the life of the party; now people called me grumpy or a hermit.
I miss the man I used to be.
Now that I’d found Ashley, I was desperate to find him again.
She was taking up more than her fair share of space in my mind. Ashley York gave me a glimpse of the future I wanted. Just because the Perpura brothers destroyed any chance I had at a romantic relationship with her, didn’t mean we couldn’t be friends.
And maybe, just maybe, someday we could become more.
I had my work cut out for me. Where things stood, I didn’t think I could convince her to talk to me, let alone forgive me. But I had to try.
Suppressing a sigh, I asked, “How deep is my hole?”
“You’ll need heavy machinery to dig your way out,” he said. “And the patience of a saint. Ashley’s intense; I doubt she’ll make it easy.”
He sounded like he was talking from up-close and personal experience, causing my green-eyed monster to rear its ugly head.
“How well do you know her?”Great job hiding your jealousy, Blaze.Jealousy was an emotion I had no right feeling. Ashley wasn’t mine. No matter how badly I wanted her, she deserved better than a man haunted by memories and scarred by experience.
“I didn’t sleep with her, if that’s why your panties are in a bunch. Never dated her either.”
My shoulders relaxed. I could see Ashley going for a guy like Jaden Sheppard. After all, she liked me, and Jay and I had a lot in common. We shared the same general build and ink-covered arms. Though his were scar free.
So were mine, when we met.
Hell, we even carried ourselves the same way. No surprise there; spec ops guys never really relaxed.Even when we do.
Always alert. We sensed danger before we saw it. A skill that made us good at personal protection jobs.
More memories surfaced.
“The boss wants to see you,” one of the Perpura’s many goons said.
My instincts told me something was hinky as the hair on the back of my neck stood on end. I dismissed it. We were all on edge because the weapon’s exchange hadn’t gone as planned and the brothers were scrambling to find a new buyer.
I nodded. “Lead the way.” I hoped they’d finally give me the details of the failed sale so I could report back to Hawken’s.
Tommy and Al, who should’ve been behind bars, or dead, were conducting business as usual. I needed to know what had happened.
I felt it the instant I crossed the threshold. The energy felt off.They know.My gut screamed, warning me to get out of Dodge. The lock clicking as soon as the door shut behind me removed that option.
