Her eyes widened again, this time in surprise and relief. “You did? I—I…” But her smile slowly slipped, replaced with a deathly frown.
Julian’s brows furrowed. “What is it? I could go to retrieve it for you now if it might offer you peace of mind.”
“N—no, it is just—” she stammered for a response. If Julian had the satchel, that would mean it was not in the viscount’s possession. Would he blame her for it, even if she fulfilled her end of the bargain? She hoped, if anything, it might buy her some time to think of a better solution than letting herself drown in an endless spiral of blackmail. When she noticed Julian’s eyes linger on her in want of an answer, she quickly composed herself. “I appreciate it, truly. It is just not a concern for the moment, I suppose.”
“Then if you would follow me,” he bowed with a flourish and a smile. “Time for the main event.”
Biting her lip, distracted, she followed Julian from the chapel and back into the dusty, dark castle proper. He led her up staircases, wide and narrow, straight, and spiral. Ester found her burgeoning cough beginning to afflict her more, feeling herself out of breath during their little excursions. She fought to keep the instinct under control, seeing the distress it caused Julian.
Finally, he stooped to open a tiny door, barely large enough for Ester to pass through without hunching herself. Beyond the threshold, a rush of frigid air struck her, carrying with it the scent of damp stone and the hint of frost. She stepped out after him and found herself atop a tower. It was encircled by a rugged stone parapet, with a narrow walkway extending all around the perimeter.
Ester's breath caught in her throat as she looked out over the endless expanse of forest below, gaping. “By heavens, this is… magnificent…”
Julian leaned casually on the parapet, his eyes fixed not on the stunning panorama but on her. She found it intensely flattering as the view was breathtaking.
Tentatively, she moved to the edge of the parapet, gripping the stonework and focusing her gaze straight ahead, refusing to glance downward into the dizzying drop.
“Careful now…” Julian rushed to her side, hovering a hand an inch from her waist in case she lost her balance.
“I am not a stumbling child, Julian,” she exclaimed with a laugh, her voice carried away by the breeze as she tugged her auburn locks free from their coiffure to let them sway in the wind. Everywhere she looked, the forest stretched like an ocean of emerald waves, dense and mysterious.
In the farthest reaches of the horizon, there was the suggestion of something large and dark—a shadowy hint of a city. London,she guessed. Occasional spires of smoke rising from the mass of trees belied the existence of hamlets and villages.
To the west, in the near distance, remnants of structures stood scattered amidst the trees, ancient and broken, like relics pulled from the pages of a fairy tale. Crumbling towers and twisted arches stretched toward the sky, giving the landscape an almost fantastical quality.
“I have seen this view from my chamber. Those structures… they look like they belong to another time,” Ester exclaimed, her hair whipping against her cheeks. “Why haven’t they been restored? They’re enchanting, like something painted from a storybook!”
Julian’s eyes followed hers, narrowing slightly as he considered her question. The silence hung between them, filled only by the low howl of wind. “Restoring such ruins is no small undertaking,” he replied at last, his tone pragmatic. “It requires an immense sum and considerable effort. They are more than a picturesque folly; they would need to be made sound again before they could be useful. I have had other concerns that took precedence.”
Ester turned to him, frowning. “But surely, someone with a mind for such things could bring them back to life,” she pressed, unable to hide the wistful note in her voice. “Why not sell them?”
Julian sighed, his gaze distant. “It is not that I wouldn’t.” He smiled pensively. “In truth, I very nearly did. Crammond informed me some years ago a young couple were interested in purchasing the land. TheEarl and Countess of Undercliffe. Theyhad grand designs to make it into a country retreat, a secluded haven for summer months.” He hesitated, glancing away. “I could not bring myself to sell it to them, and until this day, I am not so sure why. Perhaps... perhaps I was envious of their freedom.”
The awe Ester held began to fade too, agonizingly slowly, replaced by an immense sadness that settled in her chest like a stone. This beauty, this marvel of nature, was forever lost to her also.
It would have been enchanting to appreciate it, savor it alongside a man she loved and wished to share the rest of her life with. But, Kingsley had destroyed that for her. Now, all that remained was a life spent fleeing scandal, hiding away in fear, and paying off an insatiable scoundrel who would never be satisfied. Happiness felt like a distant, unreachable dream.
Tears blurred her vision and she turned away from the view, burying her face in her hands. Her shoulders shook as sobs overwhelmed her. And then, without warning, she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her, pulling her close.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Julian’s resolve broke.
He had known this woman for the space of a day, but in that time, her beauty and vulnerability had shattered his defenses. Seeing her suddenly break before him was more than he could stand.
He responded with a gentleman’s instinct and all thoughts of curses were gone. He crossed the space that separated them and enfolded her in his arms. The sensation that swept through him was as close as he supposed mortal man would ever come to sheer bliss. Her body was delicate and soft, making him aware of the strength of his hold on her and the power of his arms, held in check to protect her. Her face was pressed against his chest, seeking comfort and he could not help but give it. What comfort she could take from a strong, yet gentle, embrace, he would give with all his heart.
The scent of her filled his head. Her hair carried a subtle, floral aroma while there was a pleasant, fresh citrus fragrance from therest of her. No hint of perfume, nothing that spoke of a woman seeking to enhance her beauty through clumsy, unnatural means. It was the scent of awomanand it made his head spin with delight.
Lowering his lips to that silky forest of burnished curls, he breathed in deeply. In return, she slipped her arms about his waist and hugged him tighter. Wetness seeped into his shirt from her tears and he stroked her hair soothingly. Words danced through his head but nothing fitted the moment.
Instinctively, he knew that this was not a moment for words. It was a moment for two people to seek comfort in their bodies, in closeness and intimacy.
For him, it was something he’d never had but had always craved.
For her? He had no reason to know it but instinct told him that closeness was something she also craved and also had denied herself.
Denied it until this moment when the weight became too much to bear. When the need became overwhelming and she sought comfort.
