She turned and began to climb the stairs again, Marshall following. He led her to a suite of rooms at the end of a long hallway. They occupied one corner of the house, with different rooms looking out in two different directions. She wondered if Marshall intended to lock her in, on Nathan’s instructions. But, once she had entered the room, he followed and closed the door behind himself.
She turned to face him, folding her hands together in front of her and waiting. Inside, her stomach was churning, wondering what the butler wished to say.
“Forgive me, Miss Stamford. Since discovering your true identity, I find myself in something of a quandary. I felt it best to bring the problem directly to you, who are, and I apologize in advance for what I am about to say, the cause of it all.”
Gemma blinked. It was very direct indeed, coming from a butler of considerable experience. He was a man trained to be circumspect and subtle, particularly when dealing with members of the gentry. Though she did not exactly feel like it, Gemma was indeed a member of that gentle class. She wondered if this conversation was uncomfortable for Marshall as a result.
“What quandary would that be, Marshall?” Gemma asked.
“You tricked your way into Hutton Castle and, forgive me, inveigled your way into His Grace’s affections. That much is clear…”
“Now, just a minute!” Gemma exclaimed. “I make no pretense that, out of desperation, I pretended to be someone I was not. But it was an act of desperation, not of calculation.”
Marshall placed an upright finger against his chin, tapping it thoughtfully.
“Indeed. Precisely what you would say, of course,” he said slowly.
“Because it is true!” Gemma protested.
“Nevertheless. You cannot deny that your presence in this house brings embarrassment and, some would say, scandal to His Grace’s door. As his most trusted and longest-serving man, I feel it is my duty to…intervene.”
Gemma swallowed and resisted the urge to take a step back from the man. There was a sense of threat emanating from him, though she was not sure what threat he posed exactly.
“And how do you intend to do that?” she asked.
Then she remembered her own plan and her need for the help of this man. Could he be hinting that similar thoughts had occurred to him? Gemma’s breath quickened. Now that the moment had arrived, she found herself reluctant. The next steps could carry her beyond Nathan’s home, into the world, leaving him behind. She might never see him again. That brought back to her the sense of dawning loss.
But it must be done. For his sake, I must do it. Better a lifetime of longing for me than scandal and the resentment it is sure to bring.
“It is difficult for me to say. It goes against a lifetime of training. I should not be speaking to you in this way. And I certainly should not be suggesting…that you take your leave of His Grace.”
There it was. The words hung in the air between them. They could not be taken back. Marshall had spoken his feelings plainly and they chimed with Gemma’s own. She stood at the crossroads. Denying the butler, becoming angry, and ordering him away was one path. It kept her at Nathan’s side and would lead to inevitable scandal and perhaps more misfortunes for those around them. The other was lonely and dark, but it freed Nathan from the burden which she had placed upon him.
“I agree. But, I am as I came to Hutton Castle. I have nothing. I was in flight for my life. I would not steal from His Grace. But…”
Marshall’s eyes went wide at the suggestion, shock painting his sullen features.
“There would be no question of it. It is my understanding that the garments which His Grace was assigned to you are gifts. You may take as many as you can carry and there will be no suggestion of theft.”
“What I meant to say, Marshall,” Gemma continued, gathering her courage to step firmly onto the right path. “Is that I will need help. I had thought to ask for your aid.”
Marshall nodded gravely, keeping his head lowered for a moment.
“May I ask candidly?” he asked.
“You may.”
“I do not believe that you mean His Grace well. I believe it was and may still be your intention to, in some way, swindle him, taking advantage of his blindness.”
Gemma was struck by the words as though they were physical blows. She felt offended and angry but, at the same time, could not help but feel some understanding for the butler’s view. She had lied to him and to his master. How could she expect him to trust her?
How can I expect Nathan to trust me for that matter? Why would he when our entire relationship was founded on a lie?
Swallowing her anger, she turned away and walked to the window, taking the opportunity to compose herself. She thought hard, considering what she must ask this man for and how to do it. Finally, she turned back to him, chin lifted haughtily.
“I accept that my introduction to you was a lie. I accept this trust is very difficult to come by. I will tell you that I care deeply for His Grace. For Nathan. And my reason for wishing to leave is to spare him the hardship that must come if I were to remain and to be discovered. I would ask your help, though you must know that such help is against your master’s expressed wishes. But, if you give it…I will be gone. Forever.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-EIGHT
