Not for any reason of guilt or shame. That is the trappings of polite society and a morality I do not subscribe to. My feelings for Gemma are genuine and not born out of pure lust or the desire to exploit her. I believe her feelings for me are equally true and not born of any mercenary drive on her part.
After Marshall had been dismissed to his tasks, Nathan mentally berated himself. Rising from the breakfast table, he followed the bright warmth of the sun to the window, placing his hands on the windowsill. For a moment, he bathed in its clean glow, staring blindly out but able to picture the sight beyond. At this moment, two people needed him to be sharp and strong. Emily and Gemma. Both may be in mortal danger. Both may be under threat for the same reason. Or Emily may have suffered an accident on the road and may at that moment be lying somewhere, injured. Nothing had been reported from the road she should have taken. No signs of accidents or word of one. There had been some word of the carriage passing through Ayton and then Brompton. But then it seemed to vanish from sight.
The sound of footsteps approaching the room announced to him that he was about to receive company. The lightness of those footfalls and the scent that accompanied the opening of the door told him that Gemma had accepted his invitation. He turned as he heard the door close behind her. Then he realized that he did not know if she were alone or not. So fixated had he become on her that he had ignored the other information from his senses that would have told him if another had entered the room.
“Are we alone?” he asked, admitting defeat.
“We are.” Gemma’s voice came from much closer than the door.
She was closer than the breakfast table too. Smiling, Nathan put out a hand and felt her grasp his fingers. He turned to the window, inviting her to stand alongside him.
“Is it still beautiful? I have memories of it, not the sight of it now.”
“It is full of color. I have scarcely seen so much vivid color, in fact. I particularly like the pansies with their yellow and purple. I have never seen that variety before.”
“Specially cultivated for Hutton. My gardener is building a collection and has asked that we allow members of the public to view it.”
“That sounds a very noble gesture. People should appreciate such artistry.”
“Perhaps. But it is far from my thoughts now.”
“Emily?” Gemma asked. “I asked Charlotte if she had arrived.”
“She has not and is not at home in Scarborough,” Nathan said. “It does concern me deeply.”
He absently raised her hand to his lips, brushing her perfect, smooth skin with his lips. It was an entirely unconscious gesture, driven by the desire to be in close intimate contact with her and nothing else. Gemma touched the side of his face with her other hand, gently stroking, her touch feather-like. Lowering her hand, he sought the other, finding her palm and kissing it.
“I think that I am a distraction that you can ill afford. That young woman may be in danger.”
“And what can I do that I have not already done?” Nathan replied.
“I was not suggesting that you…”
Nathan put a finger to her lips. “That was not a defense. I merely wished you to know that I have done everything that a blind man can. Messages have been dispatched to the authorities and relocating to York is the best course of action, because that is the administrative capital of the county. The militia barracks are there as well as the headquarters of my old regiment. I can call in favors there. Here, I am in the hinterlands, remote and isolated. So, you see, accompanying you to York is the best for both you and Emily. I also expect to find Walter Carlisle there soon and appraise him of the situation in person.”
He heard Gemma take a breath and could imagine a pensive look on her face.
I wonder how such a look changes her beauty. I am sure that she is beautiful. I have felt the contours of her face and can picture such perfect loveliness as I believe she has.
“I do not like to feel that I am a burden. Or thought of as one,” Gemma said finally.
“I do not consider you one.”
“You would not. You are an officer and a gentleman. It is in your nature to sacrifice to protect others and to do so without hesitation or complaint. But, your life would be simpler without me in it,” Gemma insisted.
“And paler. A shadow of what it could be. You bring color to my life. Vibrant and deep. Color to a blind man is very precious,” Nathan whispered. “Besides, it is decided and arranged. We will leave today and you will have the use of my house at Mickelgate. A pleasant residence in a respectable part of the city.”
“And where will you be?” Gemma asked in a small voice.
“I shall be there some of the time. And attending to my other duties the rest. I would take you with me to every appointment if I could. But it is safer for you to remain protected in the house until I have dealt with your cousins,” Nathan replied.
“I will endeavor to remain out of your way,” Gemma said in a whisper.
Impulsively, Nathan put his hands around her waist and pulled her close to him. His lips found hers without hesitation. In the moment of contact, he was lost to all but the sensations that came from her, and those that she produced in him. He kissed her with passion, parting his lips to touch hers with his tongue. She opened her mouth in response and he felt the thrill in the core of his being as their tongues touched. His lips closed on her lower lip and he gently bit, making her sigh and clutch him harder. Her fingers tangled in his hair, something always guaranteed to arouse him. One of his hands strayed to her buttocks while the other held her firmly about the waist. He savored the round curve of her derriere, squeezing and pulling her loins to his.
Another sighing moan escaped her and her body seemed to go limp. Reaching up, his hand found the edge of the curtain, tied back by a servant when they were drawn. With a powerful wrench, he tore it free of its tie and hauled it across its rail to cover half of the window. Then, he lifted Gemma, bearing her up and back until she sat upon the windowsill, atop the half-closed curtain but screened from the garden beyond by the thick fabric. Her arms went about his neck and she pulled back enough to bestow light, tantalizing kisses, pulling beyond reach when he sought to make them deeper. Nathan wanted the world to stop. For this to go on into eternity while all the other problems he and Gemma faced remained hidden.
“I am a distraction,” she said breathlessly.
