She fetched the glass jug of water that had been placed on the dining table and put it on the floor beside the chair. Then she took a napkin, folded it, and dipped it into the water. Finally, she gently pressed it to the back of Nathan’s hand, squeezing it to force the water out.
“This should help, I think,” she said.
“Very resourceful,” Nathan replied with a smile.
Gemma smiled back, though he couldn’t see it. She felt inordinately pleased with the praise from him. Nathan sighed.
“I swear that I have never been so clumsy as when I met you. I can count on the fingers of one hand how many times I have blundered into furniture or burned myself on a cup of coffee. You seem to have a way of disturbing my senses.”
Again, Gemma felt flattery in the comment, even more than previously. She felt herself blushing as she dipped the napkin back into the cold water and reapplied it to Nathan’s hand.
“I am going to take that as a compliment,” she said.
“Please do. It was meant as one,” Nathan replied.
He closed his fingers about her hand and then winced at the pain it caused on the back of his hand. She opened them again, laying them flat against her own.
“Probably better to keep your hand open, Nathan,” she said.
She looked up at him, examining the noble lines of his face, taking in the handsome beauty of his features. He was a remarkable man, quite the most remarkable she had ever met. His home was a wonder, a true fairytale castle and she had never found anywhere that she felt as comfortable and safe. The idea of leaving was an unbearable wrench, akin to the prospect of leaving a warm house to go out into a raging snowstorm.
“I will send for a modiste in the morning to have clothes made for you,” Nathan said suddenly.
“But you have given me access to clothes. And they fit,” Gemma protested.
“But they were made for Emily. I would have you with a set that was made just for you.”
“I cannot. That would be too much. The things you’ve already done for me…”
“Do you still intend to leave this house before Emily arrives and make your way to York?” Nathan asked, cutting across her.
Gemma was left wordless for a moment. “Yes, I must,” she said finally.
“Then a set of clothes would be useful. Nay, essential.” Nathan reasoned.
“But I cannot carry a wardrobe on the road with me.”
“You will travel by my carriage and with luggage. I will find suitable accommodation for you as well,” Nathan said with the finality of something already done.
Gemma was struck dumb. It was an act of generosity that she had not expected and was not sure that she could accept.
“Before you refuse, consider this,” Nathan said. “If Emily arrives and you are here, the household will all know of our subterfuge. It will get out and your name and reputation will suffer. That will make things very difficult for you. I would not have that happen. This way, you are safely set up somewhere a long way from your cousins and…”
“And…” Gemma asked.
“And I may still see you,” Nathan finished.
“Would you want that?” Gemma asked in a small voice.
“Of course!” Nathan exclaimed. “Wouldn’t you?”
“Well, yes, but…I am not your problem, Nathan. Emily will be your ward and her needs, your obligation. I am a stranger who stumbled into your home, lied to you and everyone else…you have no obligation towards me.”
The idea that she could live comfortably without fear, and still be able to see Nathan and count on his protection was appealing. But, at the same time, she could not bear the thought that she was making his life more difficult by her presence, unasked for.
I want so much to just submit and let him look after me. It would be so easy to do so but I cannot absolve myself of responsibilities. I must leave. I must unburden him of this duty he feels towards me. It will be better for him, ultimately.
“I choose my obligations. I do not allow circumstances to dictate them for me. In your situation, my duty is clear. I choose to accept it. I could, quite easily, speak to a magistrate on your behalf and deliver you into their hands. Or have my driver take you somewhere far away to escape your cousins. And then wash my hands of the whole affair. I will not do that.”
