“All right. Well. I think I’ll give Brandon another chance.”
“Good. I hope that works out.” And now things were awkward between them. Lauren sat on the sofa and rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry for speechifying.”
“It’s okay. I do understand what you’re saying. We women kind of grow up molded into thinking our job is to please a man, when our goal should be to please ourselves. Uh, pun intended, I suppose. If you’re not dating, I hope you own a good vibrator.”
Lauren laughed, which seemed to break whatever tension had arisen between them.
Paige stood, so Lauren did, too. Paige walked over and gave Lauren a tight hug. “You’re a great friend and I love you. I want you to be happy.”
“Thanks,” said Lauren. “Same for you.” She sank into the hug and felt some tension drain from her body.
When they pulled apart, Paige said, “I need to get going whenever this weather passes. I’m crashing a book club meeting at a café near the courthouses to try to talk them into switching locations.” She winked. “Plus I read the book. It’s this wacky novel that takes place in parallel universe New York Cities, and there’s this old man and a teenage girl, and I can’t really explain it, but it was excellent.”
Thunder roared outside again.
“Or maybe I’ll stay here for a bit. I think I’ll test the new barista’s latte skills. You want anything?”
“Sure, I’d drink a vanilla latte, while we’re testing him.”
“Cool. Be right back.”
Lauren went back to sweeping. She mulled over the conversation she’d just had with Paige. Caleb had been on her mind, but of course she couldn’t say anything aloud. His wish had been for whatever was between them to remain secret and undefined. That would continue for as long as they both wanted it to. So did Lauren want it to?
She didn’t know. How did she feel about him?
Well, she liked Caleb, despite everything. She liked spending time with him. The sex was mind-bending, but she liked just hanging around and watching TV with him, too, or eating takeout Asian food with him, or even just talking with him. They still argued, sure, but the arguments were fun. She enjoyed riling him up, frustrating him, and he enjoyed doing the same to her. At first, fighting had been acrimonious, and she still thought he could be arrogant, but she understood what his whole deal was better now.
What she wanted was for them to be in a real relationship. Would they get married? Who knew? Who cared? Right now, she just wanted to see what would happen if they explored what they had.
When Lauren was a kid, her mother had owned an antique candle snuffer shaped like a deer. Lauren and her brother would fight at the end of every big meal over who got to be the one to snuff the candles. The way Caleb wanted to frame their relationship felt a lot like that candle snuffer. It had been a heavy thing, made of some kind of metal, and it could douse a flame in half a second. In a way, Caleb hovered over his relationship with Lauren like a candle snuffer: heavy, unwavering, and ready to put out the flame at any moment.
That was unworkable. Back when their relationship was just sex, the impending end of the relationship hadn’t felt like a big deal. But now they’d crossed some threshold and had grown fond of each other, or at least Lauren really liked Caleb. The impending end of the relationship was not something Lauren wanted or looked forward to, though it still felt inevitable.
Maybe it was time to put an end to it, then. If Caleb wouldn’t commit to anything, why bother keeping it up?
***
Doug Francis ran into the vet clinic, drenched. Caleb had been conferring with Rachel at the front desk when the thunderstorm started, so he wasn’t surprised to see Doug had been a victim of the storm.
“That’s some rain out there,” said Doug.
“You all right?” Caleb asked.
“Fine. Just…wet.”
“There are clean scrubs in the storage room,” said Rachel.
“Bless you. If I stand here in wet clothes in this air conditioning I will freeze. Is it always so cold in here?”
Doug headed into the back of the clinic. Caleb glanced at Rachel. Rachel shrugged. “With rain this bad, all our afternoon appointments will be late.”
“I only have one more today I think. Then I’m out.”
“Oooh, hot plans tonight?”
“Hardly.”
Rachel laughed. “Really?”
