Chapter Ten
Jackson tried to decide if he regretted what had just happened. He held Park in his arms as Park pressed his cheek to Jackson’s chest and breathed evenly. Park just seemed to fit there. His skin was soft and warm, and he smelled soapy clean. Jackson’s chest fluttered, as if his heart were set on some low vibrate setting, humming with happiness.
Deep in his soul, the onlything he regretted was that this—whatever it was—would inevitably end.
He took a deep breath. “I better go.”
“Do you have to?” Park asked sleepily.
“I do, yes. The press knows who I am now. They ask me how the case is going whenever I come or go from the hotel. If I don’t leave tonight, they’ll notice.”
“Fuck.”
Jackson laughed, loving that Park acted less polished when he wastired. “The last thing either of us needs is for someone to notice I stayed here all night and start asking questions.” Jackson sat up, easing Park away. “That, and I have to show up in court tomorrow. Judge is certifying a settlement I negotiated last week. And you know how I feel about wearing the same suit two days in a row.”
“I do, that’s true.” Park stretched and yawned.
Jackson couldn’tresist, and he leaned down and kissed Park again. “This is dumb, what we just did, but I don’t regret it.”
Park smiled. “Me neither.”
“There’s probably a larger conversation to be had, but I just don’t have it in me right now.”
“No.”
“And you are so hilariously brain-dead right now, I’m finding it kind of endearing.”
Park reached up and snagged Jackson’s hand. He wove theirfingers together. “I don’t want you to leave, either. You do need to. But sleeping without you tonight is going to suck.”
“At least you don’t still have to get dressed, go through the paparazzi gauntlet outside, and go home.”
Park frowned. “If circumstances were different...”
“But they aren’t.” Jackson got out of bed and started hunting for his clothes.
Park sat up. “This was always...wealways had this part of our relationship worked out.”
“I used to joke with our friends that we had a James Carville–Mary Matalin thing going.”
Jackson pulled on his briefs. “If only the Republicans didn’t oppose basically everything I stand for, we could have had our own political dynasty.”
Park’s face seemed to cloud over, so Jackson opted to get dressed rather than continue to havethis argument, although he seethed a little. For all of Park’s stump speech talk about health care and taxes, many of his potential future colleagues stood on platforms built on homophobia, racism, and selfishness. Did Park really think he could start a one-man revolution inside a party that catered to straight, rich, white men? Jackson was aware of how many of those boxes he himself could check,but he found it abhorrent to vote for a party that would advance his interests over those of other people.
But he didn’t want to have that fight right now, and it didn’t matter anyway, because it wasn’t like he and Park were actually getting back together.
“I hate that I keep second-guessing myself,” Park said, getting out of bed. As Jackson buttoned his shirt, Park walked toward him,but his attention seemed to be elsewhere, as if he were thinking something over. “Could I have been elected to the Assembly if I were openly gay? I don’t know. Could I be elected to the Senate? As aRepublican? It’s...unprecedented. Do I want to be that kind of trailblazer? No. I hate that this part of me makes me unique. I don’t want it to be an issue. I want to talk about issues, not my personallife. But I have to be realistic.”
“You don’t think you’re being selfish? You pass for straight. Not every LGBT person is so lucky.”
Park flexed his fingers and averted his gaze. “I...maybe.”
“I don’t want to get into a whole political discussion right now. You know where I stand on this stuff anyway. I’m just saying maybe youshouldsecond-guess yourself. I can’t talk you out of beinga Republican or looking out for your own economic self-interest, but I can point out that if you really want to reform your party from within, one place to start would be to show that you actually care about people who aren’t heterosexual rich white men.”
“I do care. I find the bigoted elements of the party repugnant.”
“So show that in public.” Jackson picked up his tie and draped it aroundhis neck. “Reed said you keep turning down invitations to speak to the Log Cabin Republicans. But that could be a good place to start.”
Park sighed and shook his head. “I’m so paranoid about that. I agree with so much of their platform. Small government, free markets, individual liberty. Equal rights for LGBT people. But then there was a rally in Binghamton just a few weeks ago. Did you hearabout that? A bunch of conservative activists showed up at a campaign event I was doing. And because someone dug up the fact that I said once in an interview three years ago that I supported equality, there were a bunch of people there with signs condemning me as a secret liberal who wanted to force them all to get gay married and pay higher taxes.”
