“Where are you?” I yell, unable to stop crying. I cry so hard that it hurts, and I can’t breathe. “You said you would save me, and you did. But you also broke my heart. Please, tell me where you are! Are you going to Lost Arrow Spire without me? We had a deal!” It’s strange to hear myself talk for so long. I’m sure I sound awkward, but I’ve never minded less. I sob again. “I love you. Come back!”
The silence on the other end of the line is overwhelming. At some point, I am disconnected.
It is quiet around me. I can no longer hear even the noisy people.
Suddenly, I feel it, as if it were a certainty.
Of course, he’s set off for Yosemite National Park alone. I just didn’t want to believe that he was truly that sick.Forever-starry-night. He never intended to live any longer; he simply wanted to save a girl. Save me.
My heart sinks into my stomach, and everything collapses.
I have to get to Yosemite National Park.Now!And I need help. When I dial Dad’s number, I feel like a traitor. I’m doing something unforgivable by consigning the guy I love to his worst nightmares: the pills, the doctors, the clinic. But I have no other choice. He saved me, and now I have to save him. But I can’t doit alone. He’s actually too sick to know he needs help. As the dial tone rings, River’s words from last night float through my mind like whispering leaves.
No matter what happens, you have to believe me. I love you. That’s the truth, the only thing I want you to remember.
And there’s another thing I know with absolute certainty. His love wasn’t fake. He just never wanted it. He didn’t want it because it made his guilt even stronger. And now he wants to jump before he has to think about it any longer—before his love stops him from breaking his vow.Still alive for you, June.
I’m still crying when my dad answers. I’m crying so hard I almost can’t speak.
“Kansas?” my dad asks, confused. “Kansas, is that you?”
“Dad!” I choke out. “Dad, please help me!”
“Oh my God! Kans...” I hear the shock in his voice, his bewilderment at my words. “Where are you, for God’s sake? We’ve been looking everywhere for you and Tanner.” In the background, I hear James and Arizona speaking to Dad.
“Strip,” I choke out and look around. “On the Strip in front of the MGM.”
“Is she talking, Dad?” James almost screams into the phone. Dad says something and obviously covers the speaker because I can’t understand anything for a few seconds. “Honey, what... what happened?” he now asks.
“River needs help,” I cry out while people stare at me. “I think he wants to kill himself. You were right. He’s sick.”
Dad doesn’t reply. I want to ask him not to notify the Davenports because River hates them, but it’s his family, and they have a right to know, so I say nothing.
“Dad, I have to go to him. I think I’m the only one who might be able to help him!”
“Do you know where he was going, sweetheart?”
He calls me sweetheart, just like he does with Arizona. I cry even harder, feeling as if I’m shedding an old skin like a snake, like I can finally be the person I used to be again after a long time. “I have to go to him. Promise me you’ll take me to him first!”
“I promise you, Kansas.”
“Pinky swear, Dad!”
“Over the phone, yes.” He laughs briefly. My dad laughs. I can’t believe it.
“We’ll pick you up in the car—James, Arizona, and I—and then you can tell us what’s going on.”
“Zozoo,” I say incoherently, “we need his number.”
“I’ll get it.”
I end the call and can’t believe what just happened. I spoke to Dad, and he called me sweetheart. He listened to me and paid attention to me as if I was actually important to him. Just as important as Arizona.
Dad rented a car last night so he could look for you easier, James types to me.
They all flew to Las Vegas on the Davenports’ private jet, which is how they arrived so quickly.
As I get into the bright yellow Toyota Camry, I feel strange. This is my family, yet they seem foreign to me now that I’m speaking. It’s as if they’ve changed too, which, of course, is completely idiotic.
