This is going to be hell.
I wake up groggily the next morning, my alarm blaring in my ear as I turn it off.I barely slept last night.Fox blasted music until nearly midnight, and I wasn’t in the mood for another confrontation so I let it slide.I drag myself out of bed, shower quickly, and head to the kitchen, hoping to eat something before class.
Fox is already there, perched on a barstool with a cigarette dangling from his lips, tapping away on his phone.He doesn’t even acknowledge me as I walk in.
“Good morning,” I say, forcing some politeness into my voice as I start making toast.
No response.Of course.
I try to ignore him, but when he blows a cloud of smoke directly into my face, I start coughing uncontrollably.I hear him chuckle.I look up, glaring at him as he watches me with that same cold, brooding expression.
He’s wearing a beanie, his hair poking out from underneath the woven material.He wears a cream colored, long sleeved baggy T-shirt, which only alights his smooth milky white skin.
I bring my gaze to his face, taking in his masculine features.His nose is slim and long, his eyelashes are also long, almost like a girl’s, his jawline, perfectly chiseled.I wonder what he looks like underneath his shirt.Is he sculpted like I’d imagined, with prominent abs dusting his torso?Or he’s just average.Obviously the former.
Get a grip, Cameron.That’s just messed up.
“You said you’re no fag,” he mutters, taking the cigarette out of his mouth.“Yet you can’t stop checking me out.”
I shut my eyes, breathing through the anger welling up inside me.Don’t engage,I tell myself.
“I don’t fuck guys, Cam.Stay the fuck away from me, or you’re gonna get hurt,” he says, before tossing the cigarette into the ashtray and walking out of the kitchen.
The second he’s gone, I let out a long breath.What the hell, Cameron?What happened to staying away from guys like him?Especially him?
And why, despite everything, am I still attracted to him?
Fox leaves the apartment, and I stand there, staring at the door for a moment.Why do I keep doing this to myself?He’s a homophobic jerk, and I shouldn’t care about his opinion.Yet here I am, letting it get under my skin.
What happened to getting a clean slate?Dating a girl and making my parents happy.
Will that even make me happy?
I’ve been running away from the truth,mytruth, maybe it’s time I come to terms with myself and accept the fact that I’m gay and there’s nothing anybody can do to change that.Especially my parents.
But the thought of coming out and telling them what they’ve been suspecting ever since that incident in high school is real, makes my stomach churn and I want to gag.
I glance at the clock.Time to head to class.But as I grab my things, I can’t shake the thought: why is Fox Wilder the one I can’t stop thinking about?
4
The Line Between Us
Thewalktocampusfeels longer than usual.Maybe it’s the backpack weighing me down—or maybe it’s the thoughts I can’t stop replaying.
Fox Wilder.
His smug smile.His cocky attitude.His way of making every comment feel like a personal attack.I don’t even know the guy, but I already want to slam a door in his face.
Maybe I should consider moving out.
Because what happens when he finds out I’m gay?And worse… that Isort offind him attractive?He’ll probably blow a fuse, call me names, and demand I pack up and leave.
Just thinking about it makes my stomach twist.
Why is he like that anyway?Why soangryabout something that doesn’t even concern him?
My phone rings, yanking me from my spiral.I dig it out of my hoodie pocket, plug in my earphones, and answer without checking the screen.
