“I like to be the guy who’s reliable. Especially to you.”
“Why on earth especially to me?”
He shrugs, and genuinely seems to think about it. That red-wine gravy splodge on his shirt is driving me nuts now – I’d really like to ask him to take it off so I can get some stain remover on it, but that could be interpreted the wrong way.
“I think I’m going to go with your very eloquent ‘dunno’ here,” he says. “Maybe because I’ve known you for so long, butstill feel like I’m getting to know you? Maybe because I feel comfortable with you in a way I’m not used to? Maybe just because I like you and don’t want you to think I’m a prick.”
I laugh out loud into my wine, and answer: “Look, don’t worry about it – you were only a bit late, and anyway, you’re not that important.”
“Wow. Thank you. That was good for my ego.”
I laugh. “I’m sure your ego will survive. I just meant tonight – tonight was a practice run, and we’d have been fine without you. Tomorrow night though…”
“I’ll be there bright and early, Scout’s honour. Do you need any help in the day?”
“I can offer you a 5.30 a.m. wake-up call and a trip to the fish market?”
“Sounds enticing. Will it take long, though, because I don’t want to leave Bear on his own for hours, and a fish market really isn’t an appropriate place for a greedy Labrador. He’d run amok.”
“George will look after him,” I say, after a moment’s thought. “He’s always up bright and early, and he misses having a dog – his lovely Lottie died last year. But again, I don’t really need any help – it’s nothing I haven’t done a thousand times before on my own.”
“Well, just because we’ve done something a thousand times on our own before doesn’t mean we always have to, does it?”
I nod and choose not to examine that one too closely. Instead I focus on our daughters, who have stopped dancing and are staring across at us, whispering to each other.
“Don’t look now but we’re being watched,” I say, nodding towards them. “Nothing good can come of this…”
I wave at Sophie, and she walks towards us. She and Marcy sit on the stools opposite, both clutching bottles of Becks.
“You two look cosy,” Sophie says, giving me a raised eyebrow. “Talking about how fantastic your offspring are?”
“Yes,” I answer. “We’re talking about how fantastic Dan, James and Amy are, but decided the other two were a bit suspect.”
She makes mock horrified noises, and I notice Zack sneaking a glance at his phone while we chat. It must be driving him mad having hardly any signal here.
“Have you ever thought about dating again, Connie?” Marcy asks, all innocence.
“No, I’m planning on joining a convent once the kids move out for good.”
“No you’re not, Mum! Besides, no convent would have you – you’re too loud! But maybe you should.”
“Should what?” I say, wondering if the alarm I’m feeling inside shows on my face. This is not a conversation I even want to have with myself, never mind my daughter.
“Consider dating again. I know it’s not been a possible thing when your house was clogged up with us lot, but what about now? You could sign up for an app. All the old people are using them these days – Zack, what did you use?”
Zack and I share a look and realise that she doesn’t even know she’s just insulted us. Ah, the joys of youth.
“Umm… well, mainly I met people through work, or got introduced to them at parties and events. I didn’t really use a dating app.”
“Well, I suppose it’s different for you,” Sophie replies, frowning as she thinks about it. “I mean, you probably go to the BAFTAs and dinners at Keira Knightley’s house, don’t you? Mum just mooches around Starshine Cove singing Dolly Parton and feeding the hungry masses. The only new people she meets are tourists, and they’re usually in couples or family groups. Zero dating potential.”
I throw a beer mat at her just to remind her that I am actually here, sitting right in front of her, and she says a quick: “Sorry!”
I’m hoping that’s the end of it, but Zack tilts his head to one side and says: “She might have a point, Connie. You’re an attractive woman. You’re still young. Why don’t you sign up?”
I narrow my eyes at him, and I see him fighting back laughter. It’s nice to be called attractive, but I could do without a united front of people trying to force me back into the dating pool. It sounds stupid to say I’m not ready after more than five years, but, well – I’m not ready. Not to go on dates anyway. I can’t deny that having Zack around has woken up a few nerve endings I’d thought were long dead, but that’s different – he’s not a stranger, and besides, nothing is going to happen between us.
“I could set you up a profile?” Sophie says, whipping out her phone. Her face falls as she sees she has no wifi – I suppose living in London has lulled her into a false sense of security. “Come on, Marcy, let’s go hang out on the fire escape – we’ll get it done there.”
