He bites his lip, but gives in – and selects a nice plastic number dripping with fake diamonds. He perches it carefully on his hair, and immediately snaps a picture of himself. I see him tapping away on his screen, see him frowning, and wait for the inevitable explosion.
“There’s no connection…” he murmurs forlornly, his voice trailing off into misery.
“You can usually get it outside,” Ella responds. “But it is snowing out there. And it’s not snowing in here. And you have alcohol coming.”
Sam gives her a full-wattage smile – the one he saves for when he wants to be charming – and replies: “You make some valid points. I’m Sam, by the way. I love your dog. Wait, is it a dog?”
“We think so, but even the vet seems to have her doubts…this is Larry, and I’m Ella. And here is Jake with our drinks…”
I bite back a laugh as Jake approaches, placing glasses in front of all of us, Sam’s coming in a huge balloon glass complete with ice, lime and a little cocktail umbrella decorated with stars. Sam glances up to say thanks, and the look on his face is priceless. He literally does a double take when he sees Captain Jake. To give him credit, he doesn’t quite swoon, but I can tell he wants to.
We sit and chat for a while, Sam warming up in all kinds of ways, the life-changing issue of no access to the internet temporarily forgotten. Connie tells us who people are, pointing out various pirates and princesses whose names I know I’ll never remember. Ella gets Sam some food, and he nods hello at Connie’s kids when they’re brought over and introduced. I see all three of them do that weird teen radar thing where you can see them assessing each other’s hair and clothes and what that might signify about them, all within a split second of meeting.
I’m fascinated with Connie’s boy Dan’s hair now he’s taken off his Rapunzel wig. It’s parted in the middle, and half of it is black, the other half green. I can’t resist asking him if he had to bleach it before the green was put in, and although he seems confused by the question, he tells me he’s a natural blonde like his sister and mum.
“Excuse her,” says Sam, patting my hand as though he’s my carer, “she can’t help it. She’s a hairdresser. She’ll have your whole life story in minutes.”
“Oh my God!” says Connie excitedly – although I am starting to realise that she says everything excitedly – “a hairdresser! We don’t have one of those!”
“Ummm…well, we’re not that rare a species,” I answer. “I’m sure there are a few lurking around nearby.”
“No, she has a point,” says Ella, frowning and absent-mindedly running her hands through hair that would, to be entirely blunt, benefit from a trim and tidy-up. “We all have to go into the next town to get our hair done. I mean, it’s not exactly a big deal, but when you’re busy it’s enough to put you off bothering. And the older people…a lot of my patients are on the mature side, and they struggle to get out so much. I know a lot of them would love a mobile hairdresser to visit…have you ever considered that?”
I am gathering myself up to respond when she suddenly slaps her own hand across her mouth and goes bright red.
“Oh my God!” she says, using the same words as Connie but sounding more mortified than excited. “I’ve become one of them! I’ve joined the hive mind! I’m so sorry – you have a job already, I know. And I’m sure you’re perfectly happy with it. Ignore what I just said, please!”
“Okay…weird, but okay!”
“The thing is,” she says, leaning her elbows on the table as she talks, “when I came here, it was because I’d got lost on my way to…well, nowhere specific, actually. I stayed for a bit, thinking it would just be a holiday, and when this bunch found out I was a doctor, they went and offered me a job!”
“The absolute bastards!” I reply, feigning horror. She laughs, and shakes her head.
“I know, I know…and here I am, doing exactly that. But I remember being totally freaked out by what Connie here sees as a warm welcome. By the way they all seemed to want to get involved in my life – I wasn’t quite ready for that at the time, and it felt intrusive. And now I’m sitting here, doing exactly the same to you, and I’m sorry – it must be contagious!”
I wave off her concerns, and say: “Honestly, don’t worry about it. I’m from Liverpool – you can’t spend more than five minutes on a bus there without hearing someone’s life story, or have a night out without somebody suggesting you all open a bar together in Tenerife. And anyway, I’m not very interesting – I don’t have anything to hide, and I’m, well, this is nice. It’s nice to be surrounded by people, in this lovely pub, making new friends.”
Sam rolls his eyes, and adds: “Nobody is a stranger to my mum – just a friend she hasn’t quizzed yet. I suspect it comes from talking to women about their holiday plans all day at work.”
“Well, I think that’s a lovely attitude to have to life,” says Connie. “Very refreshing. Now, I’m going to talk to George about finding you two somewhere to stay…”
I have no idea who George is, but am pathetically grateful for her help. The thought of getting back into the car is debilitating. I glance at Sam, see that he is happily sipping his cocktail, chatting to Jake and Ella, and only occasionally looking at his phone. This, I think, could be so good for him – getting him away from home, from Ollie, from a place where he feels like a failure.
It will be good for me, too, I know. It is strange to not always be thinking about what I need to do next – what Mum might need, what Sam might need, how I can fit everything in. I still find myself worrying about her, but it is a habit I am trying to wean myself off – she has made her choice, and it seems to be the right one for her. I can’t carry on fretting about what will happen if it all goes disastrously wrong.
Anyway, I came here to find some magic – and I decide that it’s time to go and look for it. I stand up, and pull my coat back on.
“I’m going to have a little wander,” I announce. “See if I remember anything from the last time I was here.”
“I don’t know, Mum,” Sam replies seriously, “wasn’t that, like, a hundred years ago?”
“Ha ha. Do you want to come?”
“Not unless you need me to. I think I’d rather stay here – it’s nice and warm and the scenery’s better…”
He raises his eyebrows at me like he’s in a Carry On film, and I know he’s talking about Jake. Well, I can’t say that I blame him.
I wonder if anybody is going to warn me to stick to the road and avoid the full moon, and am slightly disappointed when they don’t. Ella simply tells me to make sure I take care on the steps if I go down to the beach, and waves me off.
