“The words?”
“The words you said. To me. The words of your heart.”
“I love you, Alan. That is the gods’ honest truth.” Just admitting it felt as though I had had truly come home. “I do not wish this to be a one-time thing, Alan, or a sometime thing.”
I glanced down. Alan’s eyes were still closed, a serene expression pasted on his face. A smile lingered on his lips at my words, and he nodded mutely.
“So, I won’t be a rake’s fling,” he murmured.
“I think you cured me of everything rakish,” I said with a light chuckle.
“Shame,” sighed Alan softly. He opened his eyes then again with great effort, white lashes fluttering a little as though he were a coquette. “I rather loved my rakish Hugh.”
“Loved?”
My heart stopped in my chest as I recognized the meaning of his words.
“From the first day,” Alan admitted. “Rather silly, but there you go. I love you, Hugh. Always have and always will.”
“Alan.”
I nearly crushed him with a large bear hug, but then I released him and settled for a soft kiss. I knew I ought to be gathering Alan’s clothing, bundling him up, packing, and preparing for the coming carriage, but the opportunity was too important to pass up. This was the time to cherish the truths we had spoken to each other—the words of our hearts.
As I gently kissed him, Alan’s lips were chill against my warm ones, but it felt oddly fitting. Alan was ever my mirror, my opposite. He would temper my fire, and I would warm his heart. As his lips opened for me, I enjoyed the softness and the heat within, a promise of things to come. I had come home.
Chapter 20
Alan
Cold. Freezing cold. Cold fingers about my lungs and heart that slowly eased back, banished by added layers of cloaks and blankets supplied by Hugh. As I drifted in and out of sleep, dragged down by exhaustion, I woke now and then to the sight of Hugh hovering over me, a worried expression permanently stamped on his handsome face. Every now and then the edge of a whiskey flask was pressed to my lips as well as a tincture flask.
At some point, a conveyance arrived. I woke to find myself lying on the wide leather seat of one of the royal carriages. Aileen hovered over me with a grim look on her lined face. She was saying something about the chill and my magic aether. I smiled vaguely at her in reassurance.I am fine. I feel fine. Hugh loves me, and I love him back, and he knows it. Everything would sort itself out. Praise be to Nyria and Meryn.
Some part of that must have been said aloud because Aileen chuckled.
“Gods, Hugh, I’m getting drunk off the fumes. What did you give him?”
“Just some whiskey from my stash,” Hugh grumbled defensively. “It warmed him right up.”
“That it did—and I’ll thank you for some, so best pull it out!”
I snuggled deeper into the thick blankets that surrounded me and allowed myself to drift off to the gentle sway of the slowly moving carriage and the gentle chatter of Aileen and Hugh.
In the middle of the afternoon, I woke up feeling exhausted, yet buoyant. As I stretched under the covers of the quilts and blankets weighing me down, I realized that I was once again back in my bedroom. The door to my bedchamber had been set open, affording me a view of my sitting room hearth, now filled with a cheerfully crackling fire. Voices rose and fell outside.
Slipping out of my bed, I pulled on my thickest robe, found my spectacles helpfully on the nightstand where I usually placed them, and, now blessed with sight, wandered out. At the sight of Landis and Corrin standing shoulder to shoulder and glaring at Hugh, I became very aware of the state of my undress. I patted absently at my unruly silver hair which fell unbraided about my shoulders.
“Your, er… Landis… and Corrin!” I said, my voice sounding rather husky. “To what do we owe the pleasure of a visit?”
“Alan!” gasped Landis, rushing to my side. His blue eyes sparkled with worry and anger mixed in equal parts. “Whatever were you thinking? Going off like that alone! You could have been killed… and where would we be?”
“It wasn’t… that dangerous,” I protested. “I wasn’t noticed. The roads were empty… The ritual was, I admit, the riskiest bit, but I had to do it.”
“Yes. About that.” Corrin’s arms were folded, and the glint of his green eyes raised the hair on my tail. “Why were we not told about what had happened to Hugh? When were you about to tell us? At his funeral rites?”
I glanced at Hugh and blushed.
“I, well, er, that is…” I trailed off and blushed, feeling abashed.
