All of the preparations had been ironed out thanks to Alan and Landis’s excitement. Alan’s organization and Landis’s gentle charisma had cozened the entire royal household into a shared fervor for the project. Perhaps the fact that the proceeds would go entirely to the less fortunate also spurred everyone into action. Either way, the meetings had gone well, and I now had a handful of briefs to give to various captains of the guard beside my usual walkabout of the castle.
There was also the matter of Gareth’s letter.
“What did Gareth write about?”
As if echoing my thoughts, Alan’s words drew my attention to the white-haired slender young tom who stared at me with curiosity gleaming in his bright purple eyes. I shook my head and sighed.
“Nothing, unfortunately. He’s still waiting on a couple of reports himself. Not that he’s entirely without opinion, I imagine.”
I ran my hand through my wild hair and contemplated getting my untidy mane a trim. I realized that Alan’s gaze was fastened on my hair as well with some measure of approval and admiration. I decided to leave my wild wavy hair free for now. Which, I knew, was absolutely ridiculous, but pleasing Alan had become second nature to me by this point.
“What do you mean?” Alan asked as we walked down the hall together.
“Gareth probably has his suspicions, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he already has a tenuous connection between our shadowy enemy and our more recent attackers,” I said. “Gareth is that kind of catkin, you see. Always two steps ahead of everyone else. You know that is why Prince Loren ended up like the rest of them at Marrasol, right? He pissed off the Wrights, and Gareth withdrew his support. Withdrew the talent of his mind. Instead, he sat back and calculated the fallout, and he cast his lot in with the one person no one expected.”
“With Landis… with Landis and you.”
“Yes.” I smiled fondly at the memories that flooded in. “Well, it was amazing that Landis and I had survived that long. We had managed to eke out a bare living in the northeast tower, but when Gareth arrived, we were swept off to Baywaters, and I was able to properly guard Landis. Gareth just… knew. He took one look at Landis and knew. Before you could say ‘knife’, he had built up all of these plans and contingencies. It’s probably why he’s glad to have someone like you about. You know, you’re so organized, Alan.”
Alan blushed and shrugged awkwardly.
“He was probably glad that you had remained at Landis’s side, too,” Alan pointed out. “I don’t know much about what went on,but from the sounds of it, in the last days, it was practically every catkin for themselves.”
“It was the right thing to do.”
“But it can’t have been easy.” he mused aloud, “I mean, you could have left and gone to be with your family, but you didn’t. Landis is lucky to have a companion like you in his life.”
It was odd hearing those words. I tipped my head and considered them. I had never questioned what I had done. At first, I had been simply following orders. I was fulfilling my family’s destiny, the fate of all Starrs. I was fulfilling my mother and father’s wishes. Then, I met Landis and got to know him. I recognized that Landis, deep down, was an intelligent, sensitive tom who would be the perfect leader for Sumarene. I simply had to ensure that he survived whatever was thrown at him. I had never considered it more than my rightful duty. Alan’s words spun everything in a new light.
“And now he has more than me,” I said slowly, threading through the jumble of thoughts that piled in. “There’s Gareth… Corrin… and you. We aren’t alone anymore.”
We aren’t alone anymore.
The weight of my words suddenly hit me. Alan and I had unthinkingly made our way down to his laboratory. Our feet had found the path from sheer habit, and we now stood in front of the rough pine and iron door. Alan’s purple gaze, level with mine, seemed to plumb the depth of my soul.
We aren’t alone anymore.
It was as if a great weight hit me—the truth of his words, yet at the same time as though a burden I had never known I carried had simultaneously been lifted off my shoulders. I wasn’t alone. Not anymore. It was true—I had lost Ma, Da, Egarr, Arlene, and… Margriet. I had lost others on the Fields of Marrasol, but Landis and I had found a home. I had found a home. Fearful of loss, I had tried to ignore the truth, but it was undeniable.
My arms wrapped about Alan’s shoulders, tugging at him to draw him closer. I wasn’t alone anymore. I had Landis, Gareth, Corrin… and I had Alan.
Alan, who quietly accepted my embrace, as I stood entwined before his laboratory’s door. His hands rested on my waist under my cloak. His cheek nestled against my own as my arms wrapped around his slender frame. I inhaled the scent of pungent potions, leather, and apple blossoms, and I felt such peace. When my lips traced a path from his ear, along his jaw, and then up to the corner of his lips, I knew that I had finally come home.
Chapter 14
Alan
Iought to be used to Hugh’s surprises. I have long known that Hugh enjoys startling me on occasion. He certainly surprised me with his thoughtfulness during the past few weeks. It wasn’t just protecting me as I investigated the poison and the mystery of Hugh’s curse. It was in the small things—the light touches, the questions, the delivery of hot tea… or even the replacement of the quill I had worried to death.
So, when Hugh suddenly drew me into a deep embrace, wrapped his arms around me, and buried his head against my shoulder, I ought to have been surprised. When the embrace turned into a deep kiss filled with longing, I ought to have been shocked. Perhaps I should have stopped him. We were, after all, standing right there in the hallway, visible to any potential passersby.
And yet… I did not care. Instead, my hands found their way about his waist, drawing him closer in silent invitation. I joined the fray, battling for dominance with Hugh. A playful gesturethat I knew he appreciated. As my tongue teased him and my teeth nipped at his bottom lip, Hugh groaned softly. His left hand rose to brace my head as he pushed me back against the door, showing a hint of the dominant, yet playful energy he had brought to his lovemaking.
I surrendered to his touch, letting the world slip into a haze of white as I focused on his hands and the way he gently held me in his arms. The strength of his muscles beneath the padded tunic he had chosen to wear today. There were, I realized suddenly, altogether too many layers of clothing between us, but Hugh didn’t seem to be in a hurry to strip either of us down. Instead, he focused on my lips, my jaw, and the upper lines of my neck. I could barely stifle my responding moans as desire began to pool in my belly, sending racing sparks over my skin, through my body, down to my cock that responded to the scent of Hugh’s echoing desire.
When black dots began to swim and faintness hovered on the edge of consciousness, we eased back, gasping for breath. I clung to Hugh, resting my head on his broad shoulders, and finding comfort as his arms tightened around my waist and shoulders. It was more than desire. It was a comforting companionship that felt so new to me. We never embraced this way in the White Tower. It felt odd, but at the same time, it also felt so right.
Especially with Hugh, I mused.Everything feels right with Hugh.
