“About-about it being your first—me being your first—you know.” Hugh leaned back, giving us a bit of space.
I pushed my spectacles up, rubbed my nose thoughtfully, and then shrugged.
“You seem to think it is important,” I noted.
“It is important!”
“Is it?”
“Of course, it is.”
“Why?”
“Your first time should be with someone you love,” Hugh said. “It should be special.”
“It was special to you, and… it was special to me too,” I pointed out.
I had no intention of telling him the truth. My first time was indeed with the person I loved. It was everything I had hoped it would be—up until the moment the tom I loved spoke another’s name. And I was too much of a coward to ask about it. So, here I was, torturing myself with dreams and fantasies as I had always done. Just as I had done as a boy. I might as well be back at the White Tower.
“Well, the second time was pretty amazing as well,” Hugh pointed out.
“It didn’t work though.” I sighed. A thought occurred to me, and I added hesitantly, “But perhaps we could… just keep… trying?”
Hugh’s ears perked up at the idea, and a wide grin spread across his face.
“I like the way you think, Alan,” he said. “I knew from the first day I laid eyes on you that you were perfect for Landis and his court. How right I am!”
“Hah,” I snorted. “You just agree with me because I suggested having more, you know…”
“Know what?” Hugh looked at me innocently.
I blushed and flicked my tail irritatedly.
“Intercourse,” I finally bit out.
“Well, that will always pique my interest, I will admit,” Hugh said. “Especially if it’s you, Alan. You’re different than the others.”
“I am?”
“Yeah.” Hugh’s voice softened with wonder, as though he couldn’t believe it himself. He shook his head, stretched, and flicked his tail as though he were rousing himself from sleep. “I can’t explain it though. Not yet, at any rate. Oh, do you want another cup of tea?”
When I nodded, Hugh rushed off. I looked back at Landis and Corrin who were now standing and joining the new dance that had begun. Hugh, despite carrying two tea cups in his hands, was stopped twice by a few young lords and ladies requesting his hand for the dance. With each shake of his head, I was even more surprised and amused. I knew how much Hugh loved dancing. And yet, here he was, politely declining dance invitations and contentedly returning to my side in the shadows.
Hugh was behaving oddly. I had been noticing it for the past few weeks, but tonight I was struck by his strange behavior more than usual. Was it the curse? Or was Hugh simply behaving as a catkin of honor, returning to my side as promised with tea? Or was there something else? Some kind of interest? Or was I just fabricating his motivations?
Still, if I was honest with myself, I had to admit that Hugh had been more grounded as of late. He was more circumspect with how he showered his affections on the king’s court, and he occupied himself more with matters of the state than that of the bedroom. Perhaps it was due to the fact that he was replacing Gareth for the holidays. Perhaps it was something else. If I had judged the dates appropriately, this all began that first night we spent together.
And now Hugh was talking about how special it was. Surely…My heart skipped a beat, and I couldn’t help but step forward out of the shadows to meet Hugh halfway, to accept the tea he had sweetened according to my preference.Surely not. Surely I haven’t caught Hugh’s affections… have I?
Chapter 13
Hugh
…and gods willing, I shall return to Rimefrost by the end of the month. While I am blessed with family, a surfeit, some might say, my thoughts stray to you and Landis more often than I’d like to admit. After years of watching each other’s back, it feels strange to spend extended time away from the pair of you. I can only imagine what you two have gotten up to in my absence.
Ah well.
I shall send word when more news reaches me from the shadow network. As I stated in my previous letter, I am still awaiting two reports from the King’s Blades I sent south.
