‘Millie,’ I feel a nervous heat rise in my cheeks, worried she’ll criticise him. ‘You don’t know him.’
‘I know he’s my work enemy!’ she cries playfully.
I relax. ‘I know,’ I groan.
‘I can’t believe this! Where’s my loyalty?’
I hide behind a carton of fried rice.
‘How serious is this? What if he’s your lobster?’ she teases, eyes wide.
‘Do notFriendsreference me right now,’ I say. I feel my eyes start to fill with tears. ‘Millie, I’m worried I’ll never meet anyone like him.’
Millie softens. ‘Oh, An, I mean, I don’t agree with his research principles, but I do trust your judgement. So, however reluctantly, I will concede he may be better than I think. Why don’t you mail him that letter you told me about? He deserves an explanation.’ Millie’s referring to a letter I had written to Hugh earlier that afternoon.
I waffle between wanting to send it immediately and wanting to give it to him in Boston. I’m holding out hope that if I can explain in person, Hugh will forgive me, which is more than worth the trip there. But I have a nagging feeling he’ll cancel his trip, which is why I keep checking the conference schedule to see if his name is still listed.
‘I know,’ I whisper.
Millie smiles a wry smile. ‘Can I tell you something?’
I nod.
‘I always thought you were destined for big exotic adventures with a hunk like that,’ she says, as she reaches across the couch to wrap me in a hug. ‘Why do you think I sent you over there?’
Usually, a comment like that would make me panic.But I’m boring, I would think. I touch the necklace Millie gave me with my fingertips. If I’m exciting enough to pretend to be a marine biologist on the Great Barrier Reef, then I think Millie may be right. Maybe I’m destined for more than Columbus.
‘Unfortunately for my wallet, I’m starting to agree with you,’ I say, before taking a bite of sesame chicken.
Chapter 30
I go to my parents’ house on my way home from my first day back at work.
‘I’ve been thinking about something,’ I say tentatively, easing myself down on the sofa next to Millie. Even though I’m feigning nonchalance, not a second passed in my grey cubicle where I wasn’t thinking about how to present my idea to her.
‘Mmm,’ she says, still focused on the reality TV rerun.
‘I actually want your opinion.’ My heart flutters in my chest. My palms are damp. I’m nervous to ask this much of my sister, but I am determined to give it my best shot.
Millie turns towards me, resettling herself on the couch, giving me her full attention. ‘What’s up?’
I take a deep breath and spew the words out of my mouth as fast as I can. ‘I want to apply to your lab. I know you said that they’re overwhelmed, especially with you gone, and I’ve seen online that they’re looking for a lab tech and—’ I gulp down a breath of air, not wanting to stop talking until I get out everything I want to say, terrified that Millie will think this is a bad idea. ‘And I think I meet the qualifications, I have the degree. And I know you’re going to say it’s a backwards step for me, but I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I think it’s just a lateral move. I can’t work at Sunshine Foods forever.’
I don’t know what reaction I was expecting, but it wasn’t silence. Millie stares at me for a beat too long before she replies. ‘You’re sure this is what you want? It’s a lot of grant applications. Sometimes you have to stay kind of late, and honestly, the pay stinks. And it’s not like we’re at a marine station . . .’
‘Yeah, I’m sure. I can’t quite explain it, it just feels right.’ I pick at my cuticle. ‘I know Columbus isn’t the most glamorous place to do this . . . if you don’t want me to apply, I won’t.’ I rush to say the words. ‘I promise, I really don’t want to get in the way and if you feel like it’s your place, I understand.’
‘Are you kidding?’ Millie asks. I look up. She’s beaming. ‘I would love nothing more. I just wanted to make sure you’ve really thought it through. Itishard. Like sometimes it really sucks.’
I nod.
‘But we can carpool!’ Millie squeals. ‘And I’ve been asking you to hang out with Bianca and me for ages and now you will finally have to!’ she says. Bianca is Millie’s best friend from work. Millie squeals again. ‘Apply! Apply!’ she chants.
So, I do.
The interview process is easy. Millie refers me and talks me through the phone screen. I get fast-tracked through to final stages, mostly because of a letter of recommendation from an old marine biology professor. When I’m offered the job, I cry with relief. I feel like even though everything with Hugh still feels terribly wrong, something in my life is starting to feel right.
On the day I put in my notice at work, I return to the letter I wrote to Hugh. I’ve only been back at work a couple of weeks after New Year, and when Matteo asks what I’m going to do, I tell him that I’ve accepted a position at a marine biology lab.
