‘I . . .’ I falter and stop speaking. I don’t know what to say.
‘Andi, come on. Don’t make me pull the “I’m-the-one-with-the-shitty-gene card”. Just go. I haven’t seen you happy in ages, maybe this will change something for you.’
I stop short. ‘Really?’ I ask. ‘You haven’t seen mehappy? Did you ever stop to think that’s because I turned down a proposal and somehow that made me a social pariah? Or maybe that all of the people I thought were my friends were actually just “couple” friends who don’t want to hang out with me now that I’m single? Travelling isn’t the problem here, Millie. If I do this, I’m doing it for you, not because going on a vacation is going to magically fix my life.’
Millie glances at her shoes, sufficiently chastised, before saying, ‘All I heard was that you’re considering going, which is all I ask.’
I huff at her and nudge Murphy along.
‘It’ll be warm,’ she says. ‘You’ll finally be tanner than me for once. Not to mention, if you find the wrasse we’ll get Hugh Harris back for pointing out your grammar misstep.’
Hugh. Much to my own irritation, I can hear his voice echoing in my brain, the way he pronounces ‘Graht Bayreer Reef’. I watched a few of his lectures. They were informative, or at least the young women who flocked to the comments section seemed to think so. I thought he sounded condescending and was too dry on stage, but apparently, I was the only one. I was watching them to better prepare for the day when our DMs veered towards marine biology. He still thought I was Millie, and I wasn’t about to let it slip that I was her younger sister. I told myself it was only an added benefit that I could find out what Hugh looked like by watching his lectures.
Unfortunately, they were all filmed in a lecture hall on a university budget, so the clarity was lacking. Even his University of Sydney thumbnail was grainy and unfocused, like he took an old picture of his student ID photo and reused it. All I could tell was that he was blond and tanned, with a somewhat crooked smile.
I try not to overthink our conversations. Technically, I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m defending my sister’s honour as the outstanding marine biologist she is. And it feels so good, so thrilling, so unlike me to have this little secret. Plus, I like having the last word. And even though I hate to admit it, Hugh is a worthy sparring opponent, despite how annoying his saviour complex is. It’s like he can’t fathom that anyone else cares as much about the ocean as he does.
I notice Millie looking at me intently, waiting for me to respond.
‘But what if I go all the way there and I don’t find them?’ I ask. ‘It’ll all be a waste.’ I can’t believe I’m even entertaining going on my sister’s dream trip while she undergoes major surgery. Her eyes water.
‘That’s OK with me. As long as we tried. And . . .’ she pauses, her eyes twinkling ‘. . . no good tan is ever a waste.’
‘Ugh,’ I groan. We both know I’m going to go. Even though I’ve never travelled alone, even though I’m overwhelmingly underprepared, even though I’m terrified.
@millieandipaxtonLet’s say someone is forced to go to Cairns for two days (no one would give up Columbus for Cairns on their own volition). What would you tell them to do (besides scuba, of course)?
@hughharris94Depends on whose asking.
@millieandipaxtonMe.
@hughharris94Hmm . . . Unfortunately, we don’t have a Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame here, so you may be disappointed.
@millieandipaxtonOkay, forget I asked.
@hughharris94What time of year?
@millieandipaxtonLet’s say summer.
@hughharris94Is this your way of telling me you’re coming to Cairns in the next month or two?
@millieandipaxtonI knew I should have gone straight to Tripadvisor.
@hughharris94Well, I’m not from there but I’ve been a couple times. Probably have better recommendations than Tripadvisor.
@millieandipaxtonTripadvisor would have taken me less time.
@hughharris94Fine. Since you’ve made it abundantly clear that you like poisoning yourself with coffee, I would tell you to start your day at Cairns Cup. Get a flat white. Then go to marina and do the walking path along the shore, but the Americans usually talk so loudly they ruin the path for the rest of us. You should get up into the rainforest, there’s some great hikes (and plenty of places to contemplate how we drove the butterfly wrasse to extinction). And, because I know you’ll ask, Vinnie’s in Portsmith has great thrift shopping. Although you’d think your fancy university pays you enough to buy new clothes.
@millieandipaxtonWoah.
@hughharris94What?
@millieandipaxtonNothing. Thank you.
@hughharris94No, really. What?
@millieandipaxtonI didn’t realise you had actually been listening to me.
