My heart stops. This sounds bad. I freeze.Natalie.Did Natalie say something?His voice is heavy, like he’s about to tell me something serious.I knew I should have stopped him from talking to her.
‘What is it?’ My voice is squeaky and high-pitched.
Hugh takes a deep breath and starts speaking quickly. ‘I know I was just the one convincing you to go on the night dive, but the ocean at night kind of creeps me out. Everything I said was as much for me as it was for you,’ he says, breathless as he finishes his sentence. ‘There, I said it. I just thought you should know because . . . because you’ll be my buddy. And we’ll both be scared.’
I don’t realise I’m holding my breath until I have to pull in a lungful of air to sigh with relief. I’m so tempted to reach for his hand that mine twitches at my side. I place it on the wooden frame of the bed instead.
Hugh is waiting for me to say something, his eyes wide.
‘Thank you for telling me,’ I smile softly, ‘but I can’t believe you just convincedmeto be your buddy, you already had to save me from a shark!’
‘What was I thinking?’ Hugh says sarcastically, throwing his hands up in fake frustration. But he laughs, half-heartedly, and I know we both feel relieved after being honest with each other.
‘That you wanted to spend more time with me,’ I say. ‘Let’s go get ready, we’ll be fine, I think.’
‘I’m not so sure about that,’ Hugh groans, but he follows me upstairs anyway. Instead of thinking about the night dive, another thought is crowding my headspace – Hugh’s face when he’s worried how someone will react, like a little-boy version of himself, with his eyes wide and his nose scrunched, might be the most captivating thing I’ve seen yet.
Chapter 17
Our group gathers on the deck to watch the sunset. Everyone gets ready for the night dive quietly, as if spellbound by the glowing orange and red of dusk. It feels like the ocean creatures have fallen asleep and we need to respect them, like we would if we were camping in a deep secluded forest and didn’t want to wake the baby deer.
The only people who feel no need to lower their voices are Miguel and Vanessa as they bossily hand out flashlights, instructing us on how to turn them off and on. Only once everyone has demonstrated their flashlights work does Vanessa pull Derek to the side, instructing him under her breath that he cannot bring his camera.
‘What!’ he exclaims.
‘We need everyone to focus—’ Vanessa stays firm ‘—and that’s easier when there is no extra equipment.’
‘But—’ Derek starts to argue.
Vanessa cuts him off swiftly. ‘No buts. The rules are for your safety. Either you dive without your camera, or you don’t dive at all.’
Derek looks angrier than I’ve ever seen him, but he keeps his mouth shut.
Vanessa turns her attention back to the rest of us. We’re all seated at the rear of the boat, buzzing with nervous energy. ‘Never turn the flashlights off,’ she repeats, over and over again ‘not until we are back on the boat.’
I nod vigorously. Turning my flashlight off is the last thing I plan on doing. Miguel steps around Natalie, who is consoling Derek, to get closer to me.
‘Hey,’ he says, kneeling down with the bench so we are eye level. ‘You ready?’
I gulp. ‘Yep.’
Miguel smiles at me like we’re sharing a secret. ‘Everyone is always nervous for these, but you’ll be great down there. I’ve got your back.’
I let out a deep breath. ‘Thanks, Miguel. That makes me feel better.’
It’s colder with the sun down, and I start to shiver when I strap on my BCD. Hugh sits down next to me, and I crave his heat but he looks preoccupied and I don’t want to disturb him, so I resist the urge to scoot closer. When we do the buddy checks, he avoids looking in my eyes. I purposefully take longer than necessary to pressure test the straps and check his air pressure, trying to meet his gaze to reassure him that everything will be fine, but his eyes are glued to the floor of the boat. It’s only when I start to visibly shiver that he breaks his silence.
‘You’re cold,’ he says, placing a hand on top of mine. The gesture is jarringly intimate. The warmth from his hand feels divine. I feel myself relax towards him, like I’m slowly melting in his direction.
‘And you’re nervous?’ I whisper, venturing a guess as to why he seems so withdrawn into a shell.
Almost imperceptibly, Hugh nods.
I squeeze his hands. ‘It’ll be great,’ I say, both to myself and to him.
He squeezes mine back and attempts to smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
Miguel and Vanessa hustle us into the water.
