I blink, confusion clouding my thoughts. “Go where? Where are my keys?”
“You’ve lost the privilege to drive the car. I’ll be taking you.” She yanks the door open, her oversized purse clanging against it in her haste.
I follow her out, unable to form words. My car. She’s taking my car. I have no freedom left. I’m nineteen years old and being treated like a fucking child. I will never forgive her for this.
When I slide into the passenger seat, it takes every ounce of strength I have to not slam the car door shut. My frustration is palpable in the small space. If she can’t feel it, she’s totally oblivious.
She doesn’t speak as we drive, not so much as a goodbye when she drops me at the school doors. I jump out, anxious to get as far away from her as I can, and practically run to get inside and out of her line of sight.
The halls are bustling with Monday energy, each new week building excitement amongst the students as summer grows near. Summer, and graduation. A day I was so looking forward to, but seems so far away in this moment.
I stop just before Theo’s classroom door, taking one deep breath. Steeling my nerves. Then I round the corner and freeze in the entryway, my entire body going cold. Behind his bare desk is a woman I’ve never seen before. The whiteboardbehind her head announces her as Ms. Jones, our new teacher.
He’s gone.
I can’t breathe. He left, he really left me. This is happening. My worst fear has come to life. My knees buckle beneath me, my head going fuzzy, and I almost collapse to the floor. Sal steps in, arms coming around me last second, saving me from the fall.
She half-supports my weight as she leads me to our desks at the back of the room, gently guiding me to sit in mine. She drops down, eye-level, and takes my hands in hers. “Sophie, look at me. You’re okay. I’m here. Breathe for me.”
I try to listen, I really do, but I can’t gulp air in fast enough. My chest tightens as my emotions overwhelm me, taking me to a dark place. Then Sal’s grip tightens on my hands, almost painfully, and it snaps me out of it. “With me,” she says, then breathes deeply, in and out. Her voice is nearly a whisper, but I hear it loud and clear.
Within a few moments, my breathing slows and my head begins to clear. I glance around and notice almost everyone staring at me, some with their mouths agape. My eyes widen in horror and I shrink back into my seat, trying to disappear, realizing I’ve now embarrassed myself in front of the entire class.
Sal’s head whips around, eyes narrowing on those closest to us. “Mind your business!” she yells out. Thankfully everyone listens, quickly averting their gazes. Then she turns back to me, her voice dropping low, “You are going to be okay. Let’s make it through class, and then we'll talk.”
I nod, quickly swiping at my eyes to hide the tears that have gathered there. Then I turn my attention to the new teacher, Theo’s replacement. She’s staring at me, eyes filled with what looks like worry, from her seat at his desk.
Finally, she stands. “Hello, I’m Ms. Jones. I will be your teacher for the remainder of the year. There isn’t much timeleft, so I will focus on making sure you’ve met all requirements for the class and getting you all ready for the final exam. Sound good?” A smile lights up her face, and I must admit, she seems kind.
A chorus of ‘yes’ chimes from around the room, and then she nods. “Great, I will call roll in just a few minutes and then we will get started. Please, don’t hesitate to let me know if you need help with anything, or have any questions.”
I glance back over at Sal, her eyes locked on mine. I swallow hard and she gives me a soft smile, and I am forever grateful for her presence. I wouldn’t make it through this without her, I’m convinced of it.
I hold on through the rest of class, and the next two, grateful when lunch time arrives. I find Sal in the hallway, and with one glance at me, she nods, grabbing my hand and leading me towards her car. We shut ourselves inside.
As soon as the door shuts, I start to cry. Sal leans over from the driver seat, pulling me into her arms, and squeezes me tight. “Oh, Sophie. Fuck. I’m so sorry.”
I’m sobbing too hard to even form words, so I just let her hold me until my eyes run dry and I can finally speak. “He left, he’s gone. I don’t—don’t know where he went.”
“I’m sure he isn’t gone for good,” she says, pulling back and shaking her head. “That man loves you, he wouldn’t just leave without a trace.”
“Then where is he?” I ask, exasperated. I drop my head back in the seat, sinking down into it further. “I have no phone, no car, my parents took everything.”
“What? That’s insane!” she yelps. “Here, use mine. Message him. I have him on Facebook, that’s how I messaged him about, well, about your birthday…” Her voice drops off at the end.
Hope. A spark of hope lights within my chest. I grab the phone from her outreached hand and navigate to Facebook Messenger faster than she can even blink. I type in his name,but nothing comes up. My eyes flit to hers, “Where is he? He’s not coming up!”
She takes the phone back, scrolling through her messages, until her face falls, lips pursing tight. “Soph…” she sighs. “I think he blocked me.”
The groan that falls from my lips is feral, utter devastation. My last hope, gone. But then my eyes widen in realization. His house. I know where he lives.
“Sal, I need a favor…” She glances over at me, her eyes brimming with skepticism. “Take me to his house.”
She bites her bottom lip, contemplating my request. But then she nods and cranks the engine, throwing the car into drive and pulling off. “Tell me where to go.”
I sit up straighter in my seat, buckle my seat belt, and guide her there. It’s muscle memory at this point, the route fully laid out in my brain. My heart begins to race the closer we get, anxious as hell to see him.
Please be here. Please be home.
