Now, it’s Friday afternoon, and I’m home with no plans to go out. Even better, my birthday is tomorrow, and I don’t want to do a damn thing but spend it with him.
But I can’t.
My parents haven’t even mentioned it, likely too upset to even try and pretend they care. Fine by me. Sal wants me to go over to her place, but I’m wallowing in self-pity, and for once, even that doesn’t seem fun. I’d rather stay in bed and pretend the world outside of my room doesn’t exist.
I make my way upstairs, quickly showering and throwing on PJs, and climb into bed. This weekend, and my entire mood, calls for binge-watching television and rotting in bed until I’m forced to go to school again come Monday morning.
My phone vibrates next to me, and I pull it out from under the duvet.
Theo:Happy almost birthday, Trouble. I miss you.
Sophie:I miss you more.
Theo:What are you doing?
Sophie:About to watch TV. Want to join me?
Theo:Actually, yes. Queue up GOT, we have episodes to watch.
I smile, my eyes lining with tears. I close them, pretending he's next to me, arm slung over my shoulder like always. I imagine leaning into his side, stealing his popcorn, hearing him laugh at something dumb. At least, in this way, we can stay connected.
So I do. We watch together, episode after episode, and I fire off text after text. I spend the night as close to him as I can get, a virtual date. It’ll have to do for now.
I wake up Saturday morning,my birthday, to an empty house. Even though I’d prefer it, it still stings the smallest bit when I find not even a card left for me on the kitchen counter. As much as I want away from them, a small part of me, that inner child, still screams for love and acceptance. Still hopes for a day when my parents tell me they are proud, that they love me, that they accept me for who I am.
Is it silly at this point, to keep hanging onto that hope? Yes, I’m sure it is. One day, I’ll probably need to unpack that with a therapist. Today is not that day.
I check my phone, finding texts from both Theo and Sal wishing me a happy birthday. Theo’s is accompanied by a selfieof him, smiling big just for me, looking cheesy but adorable with his dimple on full display.
Sal’s text comes with a dirty gif, and I burst into laughter. I love them both, so much.
Sal:Get your ass over here, sweet cheeks. My parents are gone, we get the house to ourselves.
Sophie:Not really feeling it, I’d rather rot in bed all day.
Sal:Not an option. I will pick you up and drag your ass here if I have to.
Sophie:Ugh, fine. But I don’t want to do anything but chill.
Sal:Fine by me! Be here by like 2ish?
Sophie:Alright, I’ll try.
I slip my phone into the pocket of my baggy sweats and set about making myself a bagel and some coffee, my go-to breakfast. I pull out cream cheese, a tomato and a red onion, and get to work. Fancy bagels for the win. I top it off with garlic powder, salt, and pepper and sit down to enjoy my meal in the quiet house, devoid of any noises but my own.
I finish up, clean up the kitchen, then retreat upstairs. Since the house is empty, I pull out my bluetooth speaker and load up the newest Sleep Token album, blasting it as loud as it will go. I sing along as I shower and dress, trying to force myself into a better mood.
I can do this. I can have a good day. Sal always makes me feel better, anyway.
The drive issmooth and I pull up to Sal’s at about two-thirty. Only a few minutes late. Before I can even open my car door, my hand on the handlebar, Sal is running out the front door. She flies to me, throwing her arms around me in a hug.
“Happy birthday, bestie!” The smile on her face brings one to mine.
“Thank you.”
“Alright, come on. I ordered Chipotle for lunch.”
My mouth waters, my stomach grumbling in response. “You’re the best.”
