He clears his throat, his jaw tightening, a pained look taking over his features. “Sophie…” he starts, like he wants to continue, but knows he shouldn't. But he doesn’t say need to say it, I already know.
So I nod, swallow hard, and climb out of his car with a quick wave goodbye.
I feel his eyes on me as I walk home, the weight of his gaze pressing into my back, but I don’t turn around. It can’t mean more and I don’t want to look desperate.
Neither of myparents are home, likely out to brunch with friends, as they often are on Sunday mornings. My sister is still asleep, her door shut tight. The house is silent and empty.
The perfect time to get lost in my thoughts.
I strip out of my party dress, the fabric pooling at my feet like a discarded memory. Stepping into the shower, I crank the water as hot as I can stand, letting the scalding spray pummel my tired muscles, washing away the remnants of last night. The tension in my shoulders, the ache in my lower back from sleeping on his couch, the ghost of his touch… it all swirls down the drain, but something in me refuses to let go.
My eyes flutter shut as steam curls around me, thick andhazy, cocooning me in warmth. And then, as if my mind has a will of its own, I picture him.
Theo.
Not as my teacher. As the man I met at the bar.
I see his hands, large and warm, dragging over my damp skin, his calloused fingers tracing slow, lazy circles over my hips. A tease and a promise. My breath catches as I imagine him stepping in behind me, pressing his body against mine, the hard lines of him unyielding and demanding.
The rough scrape of his beard ghosts along my neck, trailing lower, down to my collarbone. His lips barely brushing my skin, his breath hot against my ear as he whispers my name.
The thought alone has my pulse hammering, a deep, aching need unfurling low in my stomach. My fingers move on instinct, slipping between my thighs, chasing the fantasy, desperate to make it feel real.
I picture his hands instead of mine.
His touch. Slow, agonizing, and deliberate. Holding me in place, making me take it, making me feel every inch of him.
My teeth sink into my lip, trying to stifle the moan threatening to spill from my throat, but it escapes anyway, a quiet, breathless plea.
“Theo…”
The name shatters in the steam-filled air, swallowed by the rush of water, but it doesn’t matter. The pleasure hits fast and hard, stealing the breath from my lungs, making my legs tremble as the fantasy crashes over me in waves. I grip the slick shower wall, anchoring myself as I come undone, my body bowing under the force of it.
I’m panting, my heartbeat erratic, my skin too hot even as the water starts to turn cold. But I don’t open my eyes. Not yet. Because for a few blissful seconds, I can still feel him. Still hear him murmuring my name. Still imagine the weight of him pressing me into the tile, taking me apart piece by piece.
But it’s not real.
It never will be.
The knowledge settles heavily in my chest as I force myself to shut off the water. The rush of silence is deafening. I wrap a towel around myself, my skin pebbling from the temperature shift, and pad back to my room.
I barely make it to my bed before I collapse, my body spent, my mind still lost in him. My last conscious thought before exhaustion pulls me under is of Theo.
A loud bangrips me from unconsciousness, my bedroom door slamming against the wall. My heart jolts, a panicked gasp catching in my throat as I scramble upright.
My father stands in the doorway, his scowl sharp enough to cut through the lingering haze of pleasure still clinging to me.
“Get up.” His voice is hard, edged with impatience. “You have chores. Why the hell are you still in bed? It’s past noon.”
My stomach knots with familiar dread, my body’s usual reaction to dealing with my parents' anger.
Does he know?
How could he?
Shame burns hot under my skin. A stupid, irrational response. I did nothing wrong, nothing he could possibly know about, and yet the feeling of guilt lingers, coiling tight in my chest.
“I was just taking a nap,” I say, my voice scratchy. “I didn’t sleep great at Sal’s last night.”
