For a little while, I forget to be sad.
Eventually the lights dim and someone queues up a movie no one’s going to pay attention to. I end up curled between Sal and Luke on the couch, a warm blanket thrown over our legs. My head rests against Sal’s shoulder, and she threads her fingers through my hair as I drift off to sleep.
43
SOPHIE
Three Months Later
My room looks like a tornado hit. Half-filled boxes are scattered across the floor, clothes draped over the bed, a mix of college supplies and old sketchpads I can’t quite bring myself to throw away. The air smells like cardboard and laundry detergent, and the August heat presses against the windows like it’s trying to suffocate me.
I sit cross-legged on the floor, a mess of socks in my lap, when I find it.
His hoodie.
Folded in the back of my closet, tucked under an old sketchbook like I was hiding it even from myself. I freeze.
It still smells faintly of him. Cedar and wood smoke and just a hint of spice.
My chest tightens.
I bring it to my face, just for a second. Long enough to remember his arms around me, his voice in my ear. The nights I spent wrapped in his arms, naive enough to believe we had a future together.
I don’t cry. I thought I might, but I don’t.
Instead, I fold it neatly and slide it into a small box labeledkeepsakes. Not for my dorm, I don’t need the reminder haunting me now. But I don’t want it gone either. No, I can’t bring myself to get rid of it entirely.
He mattered. That doesn’t have to disappear just because I’m trying to move on.
A knock sounds at the door before it opens a crack. My sister’s voice drifts in. “Dare I enter?”
“Not sure you should,” I mutter, smiling faintly. “Come in.”
Bells peeks in and immediately steps over a pile of clothes. “Damn. You gonna bring the whole room with you?”
I shrug. “Some of us over-pack when we have anxiety.”
She raises a brow but says nothing, just grabs the nearest box and starts taping it shut. “You nervous?”
“Terrified.”
She nods. “I don’t blame you. But this is the beginning of your new life, you get a fresh start.”
I glance at her, nodding stiffly. “It’s what I’ve always dreamed of… but now that it’s here, I don’t know… the fear is real.”
We finish packing in silence for a few minutes. As she finishes sorting through a pile of clothes for me, she throws a glance over her shoulder. “I hope it’s everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”
I smile, whispering a soft “Me too.”
The summer flew by, Sal practically dragged me around town to keep me distracted. I’m grateful for it, too. Without her, I’d likely have spent the entire time inside, wallowing in self-pity.
My parents freaked out when I’d told them about art school, but honestly, after everything with Theo… I think they realized it’s the best they’ll get from me. At least it’s school.
Tomorrow, I leave home and head to my new beginning inthe city. A new dorm, new people, a whole lot of the unknown. I’m determined to make the best of it.
Our goodbyes are awkward.My mother had wanted to come along, take photos to post on social media and find something to brag about. I'd declined though, blaming the chaos of move-in day for not wanting company.
In truth, I want to be able to take it all in, free from anyone else's expectations or opinions. I don't want today to be overshadowed by conflict or snide remarks.
