‘It’s fine. I hope you’re not on call this evening.’
‘Nope. Glad it’s not me, to be honest. I really don’t feel like it.’
‘Tell me about the practice.’ Twenty-four hours ago she wouldn’t have asked; sitting here with him as dusk eased into evening, all was different.
‘Why do you want to know?’ He opened his eyes, turning his head to find hers.
‘I’m interested, I suppose,’ she said, half relieved, half surprised he hadn’t refused. ‘I found out tonight that my great-grandparents were farmers here and I know your grandfather was a farmer too and set up the practice with someone else. Maybe mine were clients of yours.’
‘Maybe they were. And maybe it’s a crazy dream, trying to keep it going because it means something to me.’ Gil ran a hand over his jaw, roughened by a couple of days’ stubble. ‘I did my student work experience here and always knew I’d stay so I could support my gran on the farm. I met Clare, my ex-wife, when we were at Bristol, and she was pregnant before I graduated. Then Joel was a month premature and spent three weeks in hospital.’ His eyes darkened at what was obviously a painful memory.
‘Clare’s parents were in Australia and once Joel came home, she moved in here and I came back straight after graduation. Living with my gran wasn’t exactly the life we’d planned but money was tight, then we had Luca and when we eventually bought a house it was twenty miles away in town. I was commuting, on call, Clare was working, and…’ He shrugged. ‘You know how it is. Life goes on. It wasn’t until my gran passed away and the estate wanted to sell the farm that I seriously thought about moving back in and taking on the practice myself. Clare and I, we were going in different directions by then.’
‘I’m sorry. You must miss her, your gran?’ Pippa didn’t mean to make it a question, just a statement of fact.
‘Yeah. Especially here, the house hasn’t changed much since I first lived in it.’ Gil’s smile was a wry one, tinged with regret. ‘She was a proud housekeeper and a great cook, but I’m not sure anyone would say she had a flair for design. But it didn’t matter what the place looked like. It was home.’
Pippa felt the guilt twisting inside her, clouding her mind with sorrow for his situation and that she’d dismissed his home and everything in it as ugly and irrelevant. She’d viewed the house as a problem to solve for her dad, a thorn in her side keeping her from her own plans, when it was clear that love had lived here too. ‘I’m so sorry. I didn’t know, not until it was too late.’
‘Too late for what?’
She couldn’t admit it was too late not to care, both about the house and the future of the practice. And Gil, filling her heart and her mind in ways she would have found absurd just a few days ago. Perhaps it was easier when they fought, because then she could hide behind her frustration.
‘Too late not to come.’ She settled on a truth, one which didn’t reveal everything. How could she even be thinking she’d miss him when she returned home? Her life in London had seemed full of energy and noise but from here it felt flat, colourless, as though she was viewing her future in black and white. The moments lengthened, the air between them laden with unspoken meaning.
‘Why do you always do everything your dad asks?’
‘What makes you think I do?’ Pippa heard the defensiveness creep back in. It was exhausting sometimes, always being the one in control, making decisions and providing support. Raf’s role was to roam around the world without really standing still, and Tilly had eventually found her place. Phoebe and Freddie led different lives and Pippa occasionally wondered if they saw her more as their personal assistant who could put things right than their sister.
‘Harriet might have mentioned that you’re always available to your family. That your dad expects you to step in if he needs you.’
‘It’s a two-way thing.’
‘How? It’s looks pretty one way from where I’m sitting.’
‘My dad provides for us, he loves us. He always has.’ Pippa was twisting her fingers together, trying to defend Jonny, the lives they both led. ‘I chose to look after my family a long time ago. They needed me.’ She’d never doubted it or regretted it. But maybe sometimes she should step back, let them work things out for themselves.
‘So who do you turn to, when you need someone to lean on?’ Gil’s voice was low, but his words seemed to be shouting, rattling through her mind like crossfire. Her shoulders slumped as she remembered leaning against him, the solidity, the relief of having someone there to catch her, even for just those few brief moments.
‘I don’t…’
‘Yeah, you do. We all do sometimes.’
‘Even you?’ She tried to smile.
‘It has been known.’ He smiled too, but Pippa was utterly aware their eyes were holding a very different conversation. ‘It’s good to see Harriet enjoying herself at Dorothy’s and my aunt really appreciates the help.’
‘Not that she’d admit it.’
‘Never.’ Gil hesitated. ‘Look, I know it’s an impossible task, but try not to worry about Harriet. She’s having a blast.’
‘That’s maybe easy for you to say, when you won’t be the one having to drag her back to London.’ This reality was beginning to trouble Pippa almost as much as the house. ‘No doubt you’ve seen that we’re not getting on too well right now and going home will be my fault. As was fetching her here in the first place. I thought it might be a chance to reconnect, but instead she’s spending every spare minute at Dorothy’s or with Alfie, so I’m seeing even less of her.’
‘And you think those are bad things?’ Lola wandered over to Gil, nudging his hand until he was gently stroking her head. Pippa wasn’t expecting the rush of longing at the sight; the desire to touch and be touched, to lean into his strength, feel herself supported.
‘Only because it’s going to make it harder for her to leave,’ she said quietly, only too aware she wouldn’t be able to hurry home without a backwards glance either, not now after all she’d learned about her family, and even Gil. ‘It’s so different to her life in London and she’s never met anyone like Alfie before. Someone who could maybe break her heart.’
‘Nothing you say or do will change her feelings, Pippa,’ Gil said gently. ‘No amount of caution, trying to keep them apart or telling her to wise up, will stop her falling in love if that’s what’s going to happen.’
