They’d only gone a few strides when Pippa halted and threw her arms around him to mutter into his chest. ‘Raf, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it, I’m just worried about Harriet. I’m sorry.’
‘I know, it’s okay.’ He sighed. ‘How are things between you? You talked yet?’
‘Not really, I haven’t found the right moment. But we will. I hope you know you’re lovely. Don’t ever change.’
‘Funny, that’s not what Lina said when I told her it was over.’ Raf offered a wry smile. ‘She said I’m terrified of making a commitment in case it won’t last and that she deserved better.’
‘Oh I’m sorry, for both of you.’
‘Don’t be sorry for me, she was right on both counts. That’s why I left, no point in hanging around when we wanted different things.’
‘So what about you, when this never-ending retirement tour is over?’ Pippa worried about this. Her dad, whatever he decided to do, would be fine. He always managed to find the joy in life, latched onto something that suited him, whether it was touring, recording, songwriting or festivals. She didn’t really believe that he’d ever give it up, not fully. But Raf, her adored eldest brother, was different.
‘What will you do, after the band? You know, if music doesn’t make you happy, you can just stop doing it.’
Since Ewan’s death, there was a deeper sadness in him now, a level of disconnect from his feelings that Pippa had never seen before. She knew he loved them all and showed it, in his own way, but he seemed even more rootless, pouring his heart into notes and lyrics he wouldn’t even let family hear.
‘I have absolutely no idea. I’ll take some time out, write a bit, see Cassie and the kids. I’d like to be there for them more than I have been.’ He paused. ‘Ewan would want that, he’d want to know we were taking care of his family.’
‘He would. And he’d want us all to be happy, too. You included.’ Pippa threaded her arm through Raf’s. ‘And you’ll always have a home with us, if that’s what you want. Come and stay, when you take that time out.’
‘What, here?’ They’d reached the house and Raf glanced up at it; the golden stone warming and welcoming, sunlight glinting off mullioned windows. ‘It’s nice, or it could be. Someone could do a job on it.’
‘Of course not here,’ she said firmly. Confirming the appointment with the land agent was first on her list for Monday, just as soon as Gil was too busy with clients to notice what she was up to. ‘None of us will be here when the summer is over.’
She opened the front door and Raf followed her through to the kitchen. ‘Beer, glass of wine or coffee?’
‘Let’s have a beer and sit outside. It’s a nice evening.’
In the garden Raf pulled out a chair and faced her, but Pippa wasn’t fooled by his easy relaxation. There was something on his mind. ‘So what’s the story with you and the hot vet?’
‘Who said he was hot?’ She jolted, but righted her glass before she sloshed any more beer on the terrace. She still couldn’t get that last look from Gil at the show and his question about her future out of her mind.
‘Just an impression I got from Harriet. Apparently you can’t stop grinding your teeth whenever he’s around and come over all flustered. She said either you think he’s hot or you’re starting the perimenopause.’
‘She what!’ Pippa had put her flushes firmly down to Gil and their differences but maybe her daughter had a point. Surely forty was too early for perimenopause… Wasn’t it? She didn’t fancy either of those reasons and resolved on the spot to be a lot more careful whenever he was nearby. ‘Is there anyone in this family to whom my behaviour isn’t being reported on by my daughter? Between you, Dad and Freddie, it seems she’s got tabs on me every minute of the day.’
‘Makes two of you, then.’ Raf’s eyes were closed, and he opened one to regard her thoughtfully. ‘So you do think Gil is hot.’
‘What I think about him is utterly irrelevant to my present situation, when Dad decided I could park my own life and sent me up here.’
‘You’re staying on?’
‘For another few days, I suppose.’ To Pippa that didn’t sound as awful as it once had. She was getting used to dealing with clients at the vets and managing the system, but there was no denying she’d be ready to throw Elaine a welcome party when Gil’s receptionist was able to return home. ‘Anyway, I wanted to ask if you knew anyone in our family called Ivy? Like from the past, who might have lived here?’
‘No. Should I? Who is she?’
‘No idea, I just wondered if you might, that’s all. Someone in the shop said they thought I looked like her, but there’s no one in the family I can think of called Ivy.’ Pippa pulled a face. ‘Never mind. How’s things with Dad and the tour? All going to plan?’
Raf shrugged. ‘Yeah, fine, I’m heading back in three weeks, we pick it up again in Perth. I still can’t see him giving up and retiring, though. Can you? It’s his life.’
‘Maybe. But you know what he’s like. He’ll make his own decisions. Is he serious, about buying a place in Australia?’
‘Very. He’s still looking after an offer fell through.’
‘What about Dana?’
‘Oh, she’ll stick around as long as she can. Freddie and Phoebe aren’t keen.’
