“You don’t mind?”
She smiled and shook her head. “I don’t mind.”
When we were under the covers, both staring up at the ceiling, I sighed.
“It’s been one day, and I already miss him like crazy,” I said quietly.
“He misses you too.”
“Can you hear him?”
“No. I know him. You do too. He’s watching and listening and thinking of nothing else but you.”
“That kind of makes me feel sad. I don’t want him to be alone again. Do you think the other children are trying to get his attention? Has Creon had a break from writing down names? I wonder if everyone’s still bored and wandering the halls.”
Zotera turned to look at me.
“You still care even though you’re not there anymore?”
I smiled slightly. “I do. I don’t know why, but I do.” I thought about it for a minute. “No, that’s not true. I do know why. Because they all looked sad and lonely, and I know how that feels. It’s awful. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel like that.”
The phone on my nightstand buzzed, and I held it so Zotera and I could read the group chat together.
Megan: Ashlyn wants popcorn.
Fenris: On it.
Megan: No making out in the kitchen! We want food!
Eliana sent an eyeroll emoji.
“Looks like they’re all set up,” I said. “How am I supposed to go to sleep? I feel guilty that they’re being decoys while we’re here.”
CHAPTERSEVENTEEN
“If Father were here,he would tell you it is not your place to feel guilt,” Zotera said, rolling to face me.
I faced her.
“Guilt. Fear. Loneliness. Sadness. I feel all of that when he’s not with me.” I let out a long breath. “It’s crazy how much I want to be with him. I’m regretting not staying, Zotera.”
“I know,” she said, giving me a sad look.
“But I think I would have regretted staying too. That’s what doubt does. It makes us question if things would be better if we’d made different choices.”
“You’re making the right choice to stay here tonight. Your friends will be fine.”
“Are you saying that just to comfort me or because you mean it?”
“I mean it. They’re smart. They have power. And they have each other.”
I nodded, knowing she was right.
“Close your eyes, Ashlyn. You need rest. Please. If you don’t sleep, Father will be upset, and he’s been doing well, hasn’t he? The ground hasn’t shaken once.”
She was right. Hades had been doing amazingly well without me there.
A small thread of doubt wormed its way into my mind. Was he keeping his word, or did he simply no longer care as much as I thought? I squashed that thought as fast as it started.
