“Unfortunately, yes. It was one of the terms in order to stay in Uttira on a more permanent basis.”
“What were the other terms?”
“I’m solely responsible for your father’s safety while he’s here, and I had to consent to a tracking spell on you as well.”
I frowned.
“Why am I being tracked? Adira always seems to know where I am and what I’m doing anyway.”
“Don’t let that woman fool you. She only knows thanks to the people she has watching and reporting to her. Without her little network, she would be in the dark about everything.”
“It still doesn’t make sense why she’d track me, though.”
“She said you disappeared on them once. And, with Ashlyn missing without a trace, I think the Council’s worried that someone’s found a way around their little control system.” She smiled at me. “If you ever find a way to leave this place without your mark, take it. We both know you’re perfectly capable of controlling yourself out in the real world, and I would give anything to see Adira’s reaction when she discovers you’re gone.”
I smiled slightly, wishing that such a thing was possible. That humor faded as what Mom said clicked into place. They’d only put a tracking spell on me because Ashlyn disappeared. That meant after. They’d hired a druid for me, but not for Ashlyn.
“Are you upset about the tracking?” Mom asked after a moment.
“Yes and no,” I said with a weary sigh. “I wish Adira would put that much effort into watching over the humans here. Whether she’s watching over me with her spies or a spell doesn’t change anything. She’ll use either as a means to force things in some way. I’m so tired of her games.”
“Then stop playing them, baby. Show her who you really are. You’re stronger than she’ll ever hope to be.”
“Stronger? If I’m so strong, why am I seeing flickers of a sick version of me in the mirror?”
“For the same reason you’re cold when you shouldn’t be. You’re not eating enough, Eliana. I know you don’t want to hear this, but you need to feed more. I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty or to add more pressure. It’s a truth you need to acknowledge so you can decide how you want to address it.”
I looked out the window for a moment, angry and annoyed. Not with Mom but the validity of what she was saying. I didn’t want to address the fact I wasn’t eating enough. Addressing it meant doing things I wasn’t willing to do. I caught a glimpse of myself in the side mirror. My eyes had gone completely black again, not just the irises but the whites as well. Was that due to my eating habits too?
Twisting in my seat, I faced Mom. “Why do my eyes do this? Everyone at the Academy thinks it’s weird. Aren’t our eyes supposed to do this? Don’t yours?”
“It’s happened to me a few times. Nowhere near as often as yours fully change though. And that’s not a bad or a weird thing. You’re more powerful than anyone wants to acknowledge. Baby, you’ll bring the world to its knees when you’re ready.”
I glanced at Dad, who seemed to be contentedly driving. How was he spinning this conversation in his head? Were we making things worse for him by talking openly?
“Your father is fine, Eliana,” Mom said, guessing the direction of my thoughts. “He would rather hear the truth than be kept in the dark, even if he struggles with the reality of things. Isn’t that right, Jason?”
“Yes. Lying is a sin.”
I looked down at my hands, understanding his answer better than Mom ever could. He was in denial that the things we said were the truth. In his mind, we were the liars. In his mind, I was the sinner.
A storm of emotions stirred inside of me. Guilt. Fear. Impotent anger. I hated that Dad thought I was lying as much as I hated the idea of him fully understanding the truth of what I was. Of what Mom was and what she’d done to him.
Dad couldn’t pull into the driveway fast enough for me. As soon as he parked, I had my door open.
“Thanks for breakfast.” I quickly moved toward my car.
“Thank you for joining us,” Mom said as Dad helped her from the back.
“Will you come back tomorrow?” he asked.
I hesitated. My love for my parents was absolute, but that didn’t stop how much it hurt me to be around them.
“I’ll be here.”
I closed the door before either of them could say anything more. As I backed out of the driveway, they waved. I returned the gesture and wondered what I was going to do.
Mom couldn’t stay in Uttira until the baby was born. Especially not with Dad. It wasn’t safe for him. Yet, I knew she wouldn’t leave thanks to my issues. Where did that put me? Starved, friendless, smothered, and as frustrated as Hades. That’s where.
