She swallowed the pills down and handed me the empty glass. I returned the glass to the bathroom.
“Tell me another one,” she said when I sat on the bed across from her.
“No, it’s your turn. Tell me your favorite memory.”
Any trace of tired contentment previously on her face disappeared from her expression. Instead of answering, she lay down on the bed and pulled the cover up to her chin.
I rubbed the ache in my chest and lay down on the other bed so I faced her again.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Why?”
“For bringing up something that upset you.”
She took a long deep breath.
“It’s upsetting for so many reasons. My best memory is also the worst.”
“Tell me about it.”
“There’s not much to tell. It’s the moment I saw you.”
She closed her eyes, signaling she didn’t want to talk anymore. Yet, with those words, I couldn’t keep quiet.
“It’s the same for me.”
To see something I wanted so much and know I couldn’t have? It created a perfect balance of heaven and hell.
It didn’t take long for Olivia’s breathing to even out again. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. It took a long time before my mind let me.
OLIVIA…
The rumble of Jim’s snores woke me. The volume rather surprised me as did the fact I’d apparently slept through quite a bit of it.
I eased from the covers and sat up, taking my time and gauging how my back felt. A night’s rest had helped. Oh, it still hurt, but it didn’t quite burn with pain like it had the day before. Standing, I made my way to the bathroom and closed myself in.
The Others swirled around me, outlining the toilet, sink, and shower. I used the toilet then washed my hands and brushed my teeth. Although I tried to move quietly, I still disturbed Jim’s sleep. While I rinsed my mouth, I saw him sit up and run a hand over his face.
Opening the door, I stepped out with an apology ready.
“You are so beautiful,” he breathed.
I felt my cheeks begin to heat and crossed my arms over my chest.
He stood and walked toward me before gently coaxing my arms away. He made a pained sound, and I knew he was looking where he shouldn’t. And, heaven help me, I wanted him to keep doing it. My pulse dipped then jumped dangerously.
“Don’t hide from me. Don’t feel embarrassed about what I feel for you.” He smoothed his fingers over my cheek. “When I think you feel shame, it starts to hurt. I can’t stop what I feel. Please don’t make me hurt more because of it.”
I exhaled heavily. Hurting him was the last thing I wanted. Yet, I knew before this ended, he would be very hurt. The knowledge of what we both still needed to endure had me stepping forward. The need to wrap my arms around his waist and hug him warred with logic. My back wouldn’t take that kind of stretching. Instead, I set my hands on his sides and leaned against him.
Jim tensed then placed his hands on my shoulders and rested his chin on top of my head. Closing my eyes, I let myself enjoy the simple physical contact. The shadowy memory of the last hug I’d received paled in comparison to this moment.
A shudder went through Jim. Then another. I didn’t move or try to pull away. Breathing deeply, I tried to memorize his scent.
“If I weren’t a Judgement or hurt, what would happen next?” I asked, craving a glimpse of what my life could be like if things were different.
His pulse spiked under my ear, and he grunted. Still, he didn’t release me.
