“You can only keep it on for a short time. Slowing blood flow slows the healing, but I thought it might feel good after changing.”
“Why are you doing this?” I asked. He’d heard the call with Blake. He knew I hadn’t lied about any of it, even the part about encouraging his interest. His continued kindness confused me.
His fingers brushed the hair away from my face.
“Because I believe you,” he said simply.
Fourteen
JIM…
My chest continued to ache dully from when she’d first stepped out of the bathroom in her white, threadbare t-shirt. I hadn’t given a single thought to the Urbat or saving my kind. A goddess had stood before me, and all I’d wanted to do was worship her. Still did. Hearing her call with Blake and seeing her expression had removed any remaining doubt. She’d been his prisoner, too. And continued to be one because of their link.
She hid her pain well. It didn’t touch her scent or her features, yet I felt every ounce of it in each tear that trailed down her pale cheek. I wanted to pick her up, hold her in my arms, and comfort her. But both of us would suffer for that. While I was willing to endure anything, I couldn’t be the cause of any further pain for her. Yet, I had to offer her something.
“You’ve had a lifetime of being used and mistreated. I want to give you a lifetime of being cherished for who you are, instead of what you are.”
“You don’t even know me,” she said.
“I feel the pull. That’s enough for me to trust that I’ll like what I discover when you finally let me in.” I’d seen too many happy couples not to believe that.
“Let you in?”
I smiled and removed the ice. Then, I took the comforter from my bed and covered her so she wouldn’t need to get up again.
“You don’t lie and are honest in every word you say. It’s a skill only people with deep secrets learn.”
Her gaze stayed on me as I laid on the opposite bed and faced her.
“Deep secrets,” she said with a sigh. “I’m tired of them.”
“Would you like to tell me?”
“No. I’d like to pretend that the future I know is coming isn’t our future. If I wasn’t a Judgement and you weren’t an Elder, what would tonight be like?”
My first thought sent a shock of immediate pain through me. I set aside the mental image of her perfect breasts under that shirt and focused on a different version of our future.
“I suppose, if you weren’t a Judgement, you’d be a regular human, and I wouldn’t feel the pull for you. But I think I’d still notice you. I’d buy you a drink or two, and we’d spend the night talking about you.”
“Why not you?”
“Because I’m a werewolf and that’s the deepest, darkest secret we need to keep from humans. Especially now that they know we exist.”
“Do you think it’s pointless to wish for a future you can’t have?” she asked after a quiet moment.
“No. That would be like saying dreaming is pointless, and Bethi’s proven just how important dreams can be.”
“Then I’m going to wish for that future. A future where you’d buy me a drink, and we’d get to know one another because I know I would like you very much, Jim.”
She closed her eyes, and her tears eventually stopped.
I’d heard what Blake had said to her and knew that, as an Elder and her Mate, I could never let him have her back. But to what lengths would I go to keep that from happening?
Long after her breathing evened out, I lay on the bed watching her. Every time my mind wandered back to the moment she’d stepped out of the bathroom and walked toward me with the hint of her nipples showing through her shirt, the pain in my chest spiked. Why? Winifred said to listen to my heart. My heart was telling me the fragile, nearly broken woman before me was meant to be mine. Any guilt I felt over being lucky enough to have found her came from my damn head.
She sighed slightly in her sleep, drawing my attention to her mouth. A different kind of ache grew inside me. Longing. To hold her in comfort. To protect her. To show her kindness. Was this how Emmitt felt every time he looked at Michelle and saw fear in her eyes? I remembered my advice to wait and give her time. Olivia didn’t need time. She’d experienced too much of it already. She needed an escape now.
How are things with you?Winifred sent me, cutting into my thoughts.
