“And you think being used allows you to use me?” There was no accusation in his tone, but plenty in his words.
“No. Being used has taught me to understand the difference between what I want for myself and what I need to want for a higher purpose. I thought you wanted me for yourself as much as I wanted you. I didn’t mean to use you. ”
He turned and tilted his head as if maybe looking down at me.
“So not just to hurt Blake?”
My chest tightened with guilt.
“No. There were many reasons for what I did. The best one was because I really wanted to touch you and let myself enjoy it just for me.”
He reached up and slipped his hand through the tangle of wet hair hanging from the back of my head. A reminder that I stood in front of him with no clothes.
“Then, thank you,” he said. “For taking what you wanted and for helping me understand.”
He bent his head and brushed his lips against mine, sending a tingle of awareness rushing over my skin. I suppressed my joy at the feel of him. At the feel of his tongue licking the seam of my lips. Of the way my heart pounded as I opened my mouth and experienced the first real kiss of my life.
Just when my control started to break, someone knocked on the door.
Jim pulled back with a groan.
“Under the covers,” he said. “So I can answer the door without killing someone.”
I quickly got under the covers and listened to him accept a tray from the hotel staff.
As soon as the door closed, I left my protection and started for the bathroom.
“Where are you going?” he asked as he set the tray on the table.
“To the bathroom to finish drying off and to get dressed.”
“You don’t have to.” The husky note in his voice sent a shiver through me.
“I do. If we continue, it’ll bring Blake. I’m not ready to face that fight, yet.”
He sighed and went back to laying out the food from the tray.
* * * *
I smiled and ran the brush through my hair. Dinner with Jim and our time “watching” T.V. still ran through my mind. He never seemed to object to describing things to me. Or just talking. He liked being with me. My stomach did an odd flip at that thought, and I struggled not to feel any guilt over it.
Setting the brush aside, I opened the door. Jim already lay in the bed closest to the exit. The bed we’d used to kiss and I’d used to hide, remained empty. My bed. An empty, lonely one. I sat on the edge of the mattress and looked at him. He had his head turned as if watching me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Still hungry?”
I shook my head with a small laugh. I’d eaten everything he’d set in front of me. My stomach hurt, but I didn’t care. After all the times I’d gone hungry, I’d glutted myself.
“I won’t be hungry for days.”
Any humor I felt faded as the words brought what would happen tomorrow back into focus. I moved closer to him.
“I don’t want to sleep by myself. We both know Blake will likely try something, again, and it makes more sense to sleep beside you because of that. But, that’s not why I’m asking. I’m tired of feeling so alone.”
“You’ll never feel that way again. I meant what I said before. You’re mine. We’re just waiting until you decide the time is right.”
He lifted the covers, a silent invitation I didn’t hesitate to accept. I burrowed into his warmth, setting my cheek on his bare chest. His fingers stroked over my hair, a tender comfort as I closed my eyes.
Well done, daughter. You have his heart. Now ask for the rest.
