kristopher.
KRIS
Oh shit.
Coal.
COAL, DID YOU FUCK THE HALLOWEEN PRINCE
We were going to be PROFESSIONAL, seriously.
IRIS
KRIS!! you can’t put that in a text thread!
omg delete it you idiot
i did not fuck him
[the longest pause in the history of group chats]
IRIS
coal. i say this with the greatest amount of love for you.
bring me breakfast, i’m sore from skating
okay that pause took 10 years off my life and that’s the only thing you have to say
IRIS
why would that pause have taken years off your life? huh? HUHHH??
if you didn’t do anything
KRIS
Yeah, Coal, I think you should bring me breakfast too.
Considering I have been beside myself with worry over my only brother’s fate.
While you’ve been boning.
Coal
Your silence is incriminating.
IRIS
yeah he definitely fucked my fake suitor
KRIS
You’re allowed to text that but I can’t??
IRIS
this whole thread is a PR disaster, i’m deleting everything
