The same way I trust him. An unexplainable thing. A tether that goes beyond the bonding magic, to something innate and foolish and founded in love.
“We don’t have to know,” Otto continues, his lips lifting on one side, a smile. “Just walk me through what you’ve been doing when you use wild magic. Maybe it’ll work the same for me.”
“Well, what did you do to make those?” I look up at the apples again.
Otto follows my gaze. “I was thinking about blooming. Warmth. The Well, and a well inside me, filling. I wasn’t necessarily thinking about apples.”
I shrug. “When I’ve used wild magic, I don’t always have a direct intention. It’s more unconscious, or a demand in the moment. Like the wall of water I used to protect us against Dieter’s soldiers in the aqueducts—I’d just wanted protection for us. So maybe controlling wild magic has to do with controlling our intentions beyond thought. We have to control our instincts, those initial kicks of will before they become full seeds.”
Otto’s jaw sets. “In the heat of battle, that could be difficult.”
Holda? I try on instinct. I don’t know if our connection is reestablished, being outside of Perchta’s tomb, or if the Mother goddess’s lingering magic will interfere still—
I am here, she says after a pause. She sounds exhausted. Stretched thin.
I am her champion, yes, but just in the dip of her words, I feel how many other responsibilities she has, and how perilous so many of those things must be. Other witches praying to her. Other souls depending on her.
Never mind, I tell her.
There’s another pause.I will always be here for you, Friederike. You have questions about how best to use the bond between you and Otto. I can—
No. We can figure it out. What has you so overwhelmed? Other than…everything.
She laughs. I don’t think I’ve ever heard herlaughbefore. It’s dry, though, humorless.
Too many things happen that I cannot see, she says.So my sisters and I attempt to prepare for as many likelihoods as possible.
They are on your side now? Perchta seemed amenable.
They were never not on my side, Holda says.They merely forgot where true dangers come from.
I peel away from my connection with her. Otto and I can explore this bond on our own.
I bite my lip, brow furrowed, and when Otto looks at me again, he frowns.
“What’s that look?”
I stand, brushing stray bits of grass from my skirt. We’re a ways from the main camp, but the flicker of the orange bonfire can be seen through a few trees, far enough that if we needed to call for help, they would hear.
“I want to try something.”
He climbs to his feet and nods me along.
My internal well of magic is still nearly empty. A cavernous, echoing space with a small trickle of magic burbling in. It will continue to fill, but slowly, and what happens if I scrape it dry?
I shake out my hands. “I only have enough magic to do this once for now. Maybe twice.”
Otto’s frown of interest deepens. “I’m not going to drain you even more. We can practice later—”
“Later when?” I don’t mean the bite in my voice. But anxiety tightens my stomach, forces fear past my exhaustion and bruises.
After a beat, Otto concedes, sucking his teeth.
We don’t havelater.
“Eyes closed,” I tell him. “Arms up. Fighting stance.”
He obeys.
