Theron steps forward, close enough that I can feel theheat off his body. “You don’t have to talk to me like that. I’m on your side.”
“No, you aren’t,” I snap, jaw tight. “You are Cordell, just as much as I am Winter. You’ll always have to choose your kingdom over me.”
“It won’t come to that.” The force of his words silences me. “I know you’re angry with me for telling my father about the magic chasm, but I stand by what I did. Do you know why he let me stay here for this long? Because he expects me to report on yourprogressevery time he returns, like you’re property of his that I’m supposed to supervise. I will not continue living this way when an answer lies so close. We need that magic, Meira, and we need Cordell’s support to search the world. Once we have the keys,wewill be able to control opening that chasm. Not my father. We’ll be able to give magic to everyone.”
He’s so determined, his confidence unwavering and blind. I trap a breath in my throat, biting my tongue as I war with telling him the truth. But if this is his goal . . . he needs to know what could happen.
“If everyone in the world has magic, they’ll use it for negative things too,” I start. “Thatfueled Angra—the Decay was created by the negative use of magic. It’ll return, and it’ll darken the world. I can’t let that happen.”
“What?” Theron teeters. “How do you know that?”
How, indeed?My dead mother told me through our connection to conduit magic because, by the way, Theron,I’mWinter’s conduit. All of me.
“While I was in Abril, I . . . he told me. Tried to break me. It worked.”
Lies, lies, lies.
Theron squints. At first it seems like disbelief, but the longer the silence lasts, the more I realize he’s analyzing me.
“Why don’t you believe we’re strong enough?” he asks. “Angra may have been fed by this negative use of magic—but what about the goodness in Primoria? Don’t the good people deserve to be powerful?”
“It isn’t about who deserves what—someonewilluse magic negatively. Surely you can’t believe everyone in the world is trustworthy?”
“No—but I have to believe we’re strong enough as a collective whole to withstand any evil that might arise. And if we’re aware of what will happen and we all have magic to fight that evil, we can overcome anything.”
The ferocity of his belief in the goodness of the world breaks my heart. Nessa has the same innocence, seeing only the good, ignoring the bad.
Recognizing that in him throws sand over the fire of my certainty. I want him to believe in the goodness of the world. Ineedhim to believe in it, for the terrified boy who cowered in Angra’s cell and represses such memories. Like Nessa, like Conall and Garrigan and everyone else, Theron’s happiness feels like a fistful of snow nestled in the cage of my hands. Only instead of being somewhere coldand wonderful where it can thrive, I’m somewhere hot and choking, heat licking my fingers and trying with all of its might to melt the snow within.
I’ll find a way to keep the world safe from negative magic use. I don’t need Theron’s help to do so—I need him to stayhim.
“Goodness does need to be preserved,” I say, an agreement that isn’t exactly an agreement. “But I’m going to find allies to stand with me against your father, if the time comes. This could lead to war with Cordell, and I won’t ask you to—”
Theron lurches forward. One of his hands cups my cheek, the other lands on my shoulder, catching me in a soft caress. But the distance created when he told his father about the chasm yawns between us, and I don’t lean into him like I used to.
“You don’t have to ask me to support you,” he says. “I know the risks and they are, will always be, worth the repercussions. We’ll set out to find the keys. We’ll search each kingdom’s monuments and archives and, golden leaves, even their vaults if we have to—but magic will only heal so much. This world has been divided for too long.”
I frown. “What are you saying?”
Theron slides his hand behind my head, holding me here. “What if this trip wasn’t merely a cover to introduce Winter to the world? What if it really is what you plan for it—a way to link allies, onlymore? We can go with anintention beyond finding the keys: to unite the kingdoms of Primoria in perpetual and lasting peace. If I draw up a treaty, Cordell would sign it. Winter and Autumn would sign it. We could take it to Summer, Yakim, Ventralli—and eventually, to Spring and Paisly. For the first time in centuries, there is no war between any kingdoms in Primoria. We can seize this opportunity—and when the chasm is open, we’ll bring magic into a world already well on its way to healing.”
I’ve heard a speech like this before, only spoken from very different lips.
Mather dreamed of such things, when he was king and I was just a soldier. Only his wishes were for peace and equality to come through judging people based on their character instead of things like gender and bloodline. Back then, I was inexperienced enough to believe that we could achieve such balance—but I’ve seen too much now. Permanent peace and balance is an impossible goal. Far better would be to strive for a general state of equality, so that no matter what evils one kingdom might conjure, they would never be undefeatable.
And if magic is spread to everyone, evils like that will fill the world.
My body tenses in Theron’s hands. “We’ve only been without war forthree months, and already Winter borders on conflict with Cordell. Peace is . . . impractical.”
Theron shakes his head. “Not if the world signs a treatythat binds them to one another. When issues arise, we intercede; when evils appear, we unite. And when we bring this to them, Rhythm and Season together, we will show them what that future can look like.”
He curves his neck down and lays his lips across mine in a hungry, powerful kiss, like he’s trying to impart his certainty into me. I can’t process what’s happening fast enough to decide whether or not I should pull away, and my body droops into him.
He wants to use this trip to search for a way to open the magic chasm under the guise-that-isn’t-a-guise of uniting the world. Which sounds like a beautiful, admirable goal—if not for the sheer impossibility of it. I’m barely certain I’ll find allies by bribing them, let alone getting Rhythms to agree to a state of peace and unification withallthe Seasons.
A realization punches through me.
Theron found a legitimate reason to go to Summer, Yakim, and Ventralli. One that doesn’t involve Winter—or at least, Noam would be able to argue that it doesn’t.
