“What about your parents?”
“They’ll flip. Well, at least my mom will. My dad might be okay.”
“You’re lucky that you have them.”
Paige slid a glance at her. “I don’t feel lucky.”
“You could make an infertile couple feel very, very lucky.” Carl’s quote from Isaiah floated back to her. “There’s beauty in ashes.”
“I don’t know what that means,” Paige said.
“I’m still learning, but I think it means there’s happiness even in sadness. My sister’s death was the most horrible thing that ever happened to me. Even worse than my mom’s death because I wasn’t prepared for it. But if Chloe hadn’t died, I would still be in a profession I hated and I wouldn’t have Jamison. Don’t get me wrong, I still miss my sister every day. I wish she were here, but—I love where I am and I love what I’m doing and the person I’m becoming. Her death was the catalyst for those changes.”
Paige dipped her head. “You’re a really good person,” she said softly.
“No, I’m not. I’m selfish, cranky, and sometimes just so tired and frustrated I want to scream. But beside all of that, it’s hard to imagine I could love Jamison any more than I do. Sometimes my love for him swells inside me until it’s so huge I think I’m going to break from the weight of it.”
Paige gave her a sad smile. “I’m not ready to give my life up for someone else.”
“But I don’t feel like I—“
“I know you don’t, but that’s how I’ll feel. I’m not you.” Paige stood and brushed off her pants. “I’m going to go home. I have to tell my parents. I can’t do this without them.”
Sophie pushed to her feet. “Wait. Before you go, what made you think that Luke would marry you?”
“He would. He’s a solid guy.” She studied Sophie. “You don’t know, do you?”
“Know what?”
“He was in the CIA. That’s why he couldn’t be here after the funeral.”
“The CIA… He was a spy?”
“You’ll have to ask him about it.”
“Is he… Would his job pose a risk to Jamison?”
“Like I said, you’ll have to ask him, but I doubt it. I don’t think he’d be here if it did. His job is what made him stay away.”
Paige turned back toward the house. Sophie didn’t really know what Paige would decide to do, but she suspected that Paige didn’t really know either. She offered up a silent prayer for the girl as she followed the sound of the ATV engines.
