#
“I was wondering if I could borrow Jamie this afternoon,” Luke said as soon as the service was over. “It’s my Aunt Lola’s seventieth birthday party and I know she, and a lot of the family who will be there, would love to see him.”
“Oh, of course.” She couldn’t really say no, but the thought of entrusting Jamison to Luke for the afternoon scared her.
“You could come, too,” he said as if he had read her thoughts.
Did that make her feel better? She weighed the options. A lonely afternoon without Jamison or a family party where she’d stick out like a dandelion in a rose garden? “I couldn’t intrude,” she said.
“You wouldn’t be. But I completely understand if you’d like an afternoon off to go shopping or whatever.”
Did she want an afternoon off? She wasn’t even sure what that would look like. The last few months had been so radically different from her life before Jamison. But when she thought about it, she realized that she’d never been great at having fun. She didn’t know how. What was the definition of fun? Acing a test? Winning a case? Scoring a settlement? Righting a wrong? As an attorney, did she feed off contention? It had certainly paid her bills.
“Hello?”
She blinked at Luke. “Sorry… I… I would love to come to your aunt’s birthday.”
He beamed at her. “Great. Why don’t you leave your car here, and I can bring you back later?”
She shook her head. “The car seat is a beast to move. I’ll just follow you.”
Sophie called Liz on her Bluetooth and explained the situation as soon as she got in the car. “I know I’m going to have to leave Jamison at some point, but I’m not ready.”
Liz clucked sympathetically. “Poor you. Someone offering you free babysitting–what a nightmare. Just think what it would have been like if he’d been here six months ago.”
“That would have been totally different.” Sophie’s voice hardened and she tightened her grip on the steering wheel. “He should have been here! Then we could have honored the will and shared custody. I wouldn’t have had to quit my job.”
Liz’s silence reminded her that quitting had been her own idea. After a long moment, Liz said, “You need to forgive him. If not for his sake, then for yours.”
“You sound like Lauren.”
“No, right now I’m parroting my husband.”
“I really can’t understand why Carl and Lauren don’t get along. They quote from the same textbook.”
“Don’t change the subject,” Liz said. “We’re not talking about Carl and Lauren. We’re talking about you and Luke.”
“I—huh—gotta go.” Sophie ended the call. She didn’t want to talk about Luke. She wanted to avoid him, but she didn’t know how. Chloe and Matt had loved him and they wanted their son to love him, too. And that couldn’t happen if he didn’t spend time with him. But for that to happen, she had to either let Luke occasionally take Jamison, or she had to accompany Jamison when he was with Luke. Like she was doing now.
Why wasn’t she comfortable leaving Jamison in Luke’s care?
Why was she uncomfortable around Luke?
She didn’t know the answers to either of those questions, but she decided she needed to find out soon or else she’d be forced to spend a lot of time being uncomfortable.
#
Aunt Lola lived in a Victorian house high on a bluff overlooking the gray ocean. A number of cars were already lined up along the street and Luke parked his SUV behind his cousin Tracy’s Escalade. He jumped out, eager to help Sophie with Jamie.
Sophie’s hair whipped around her as she climbed from the car.
“It’s always windy up here,” he told her.
“It’s gorgeous,” she told him, sweeping her gaze over the rolling green hills to the stretch of ocean below.
“You’ll like Aunt Lola. She has a personality that matches her house.”
“Jamison fell asleep on the way here,” she told him, her voice full of an apology. “I should probably take him home so he can get a good nap.”
