Page 5 of Gilded Bird

Just as I tip my head to brush my mouth over hers, to taste her at last, there is a knock at the door. I stiffen because I recognize it. It is therapp-rapp—pause—rap-rap-rapthat Jameson always uses. Eyes going wide, Mika pushes me away, fixing her dress and her hair before she spins to open the door.

Mika might get away from me for the moment—but the night is not over, and she won’t be able to escape me later.

Chapter Three

Mika

Dinner should not be so complicated.

Any other night, sitting down for a meal with Jameson and Maddox would be just another night. Just a night of us talking about their shenanigans as we ate good food, usually food I was glad to make for us, and nothing more or less. This is not just another night, and this dinner is more complicated than I know how to handle.

Jameson sits across from Maddox, his girlfriend Jade at his side. They come hand in hand, his gaze on her one of pure adoration. I took to her immediately, and I sense how much they love one another. It is in their eyes when they gaze at one another. To be honest, I have never seen anything like it before.

Unless I count the way Maddox has been staring at me.

Sat beside me, he is too close, too familiar with how he speaks to me, how he situates himself towards me. My head is still spinning from those moments earlier at the condo. What was that? Where did all of that come from, and what the hell do I do with it?

Nothing. All of it is nothing. It can’t be, of course. I am old enough to be his mother. Hell, I practically was his mother for a lot of his life. He spent summers with us, went on vacations with us, and was under my roof more often than he was under his own. Whatever he has in his head is wrong, and I am going to tell him that.

“What do you think, Ma?”

“About what? I think this place is beautiful,” I sputter as I blink at my son, having heard none of their talk about their deal.

“He is asking about the bar we want to open in Heart Harbor. Have you been there before? Such a beautiful little place, we will all have to make a trip there once we start scouting locations.”

“It is so beautiful,” Jade jumps in, sitting forward as she lights in a glowing smile. “We went there for a little getaway. If you think it is beautiful here…Heart Harbor is like a dream.”

“Sounds lovely. I am sure it will be a good spot.”

“Everything ok with dinner, Ma?”

Blinking at my son, I swallow just my second bite of my meal, nodding as I smile around the bite. “Yes. Yes, of course. This place is beautiful,” I parrot again, almost rolling my eyes. What is wrong with me?

Beside me, Maddox chuckles, his big, warm body leaning closer to mine. Too close. I can smell his cologne and feel the brush of his nice suit on my skin. I pull back as if I have been burned. Then his hand is on my thigh beneath the table, stunning me. Not just because of how bold a move it is. Because heat immediately blooms between my thighs as his big, rough hand pushes at the skirt of my dress, grabbing hold of my thigh.

I almost cough on my bite of lobster linguine. His fingertips trace back and forth as my breath comes in fast, frenzied puffs. I wiggle my leg beneath the table, but his grasp only tightens. I almost want to laugh. I also kind of want to cry. How do I handle something like this?

“You said that, Mika,” Maddox bends his head to whisper his words against my ear. “Is there something I can do to calm you down?”

Eyes flying across the table, I see Jameson is oblivious to what is going on. He has eyes for nothing but Jade. I smile because, good, good for him, I want him to have that. I want him to know the kind of love I never got to have with his father.

My head dips as my body sags, tears stinging my eyes. I have no idea what being in love feels like, even if I loved Jameson’s father for giving me a son, and for giving me a purpose. Now though, he has found his own purpose and I do not want to intrude on them. I am second-guessing my staying here in Sunset Springs.

“Maybe with you taking this on, I should head back out again, there is plenty of the world to see.”

Maddox goes still beside me. Jameson’s head snaps up, his eyes flying between the two of us. I fear he knows something has changed. Something is different. Wrong. Narrowing his gaze, he leans across the table, holding his hand out. I reach out to take his, smiling at him.

“I rather you not go, Ma. I love having you here. You just got settled. Don’t you love being at the beach? What if,” his voice lowers as he shares a long look with Jade. “What if we have babies soon? We both want them, and I want you there. I want them to have you there the way I did.”

Maddox nods, agreeing without words. His hand is grasping my thigh so tight, I am sure it will bruise. I drop my hand beneath the table, pushing at his hand. He relents, but instead of giving up touching me, he laces his fingers with mine. I am shocked at how good it feels, and how much it grounds me to have him holding on tight.

“Well, it was just a thought. I am so proud of both of you,” I say honestly as I glance between the two men. “You’ve done all you said you would, and then some. You’ve built such good lives for yourselves.”

“Yeah, besides this idiot,” Jameson teases, pushing his best friend. “Told him a hundred times it is time to settle down. Look at us. I got damn lucky when I found Jade. You will find someone who will make you want to slow down and enjoy the view.”

“Might have found her, Tweedle Dee,” he teases Jameson with the name I used to call them. I flush, bowing my head. It feels intimate, the way he says it. Like a secret shared between us. “Maybe you even get to meet her soon.”

Beneath the table, his hand tightens in mine, as if punctuating his words. I try to pull my hand away, knowing how wrong this is. I cannot use him for strength when he is so confused. He has made up something in his head about me. I am flattered, of course. I haven’t felt wanted in a very long time.