Page 16 of Gilded Bird

“Oh. Oh…yes, Maddox,” she pants, head nodding before it falls back on my shoulder as her orgasm rocks her little body.

Mika’s entire body shudders as I cover her little scream by clamping my hand over her mouth. I chuckle when she curses and playfully nips at my fingers. My other hand still pumps inside of her, until I wring out every bit of pleasure I can from her.

Kissing her throat, I fix her dress, giving a playful smack of her bare ass. We both know she did that for me. Knowing she was sitting across from me that way all night would have driven me mad if I had known. Pulling back, I grasp her shoulders gently, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“Mika, we need to talk to Jameson. Tell him…” I trail off when she twists in my arms, pushing at my chest with surprising force.

“N-No, how could we ever explain it?”

“What is there to explain? We’re together. End of explanation.”

“Maddox it is not that simple. It will upset him.”

“No, I don’t think it will. Even if it does, I am willing to risk it. Is it…is it that you’re not willing to take a risk on me? Am I good enough to fuck in private but not good enough to have a relationship with?”

Mika backs away as if I struck her, turning her head away. I regret my words the minute I see how they hurt her. It is the last thing I want to do. I have always wanted to protect her, take care of her, and give her anything she could ever want. Maybe I was wrong all this time. For a long time, I believed she didn’t feel worthy of someone loving her the way I do.

After all this time, everything we shared, maybe I am the one not worthy.

Chapter Nine

Mika

Breaking someone’s heart is the last thing I ever wanted to do.

Seeing the pain flare in Maddox’s eyes, seeing the way his body tightens, closing him off from me. It makes my own heart split apart. He has been so good to me, he has given me the best time of my life and has made me feel adored and beautiful.

It was never supposed to be more than this, was it?

Standing in the darkness of the kitchen, it feels as if I am back in my own home in Silver Shores. Watching my husband of twenty years walk out for the very last time. It hurt me more than I expected it to. My entire life had been taking care of the two men in my life. I had done my best by both of them, but as I stand here now, I doubt myself.

Did I do the best by them, living a lie for so long?

“Maddox, please, don’t…” I trail off unsure what to say, what to ask of him.

“This was not some weekend fling for me. Not a chance to bed the MILF I wanted since I was fifteen. This,you,meant a helluva lot more to me than that. How can you not see that? Can’t you see what is right in front of you, Mika?”

Maddox moves, pinning me to the island, his hands cradling my face. It is not a gentle embrace. Not that anything between us has been all that gentle. It has been hunger and passion. I guess I thought it was nothing more. I couldn’t let myself believe for one second it could be more.

“I-I don’t even know what to say. What do you want me to say?”

“That you feel what I do,” he rasps, his voice broken. “That you feel what you mean to me, what I would do for you, give for you.”

“Maddox,” I gasp, unable to pull back, unable to put distance between us even if I know I should. I press closer, I grasp his shirt, wrinkling it in my hands as I drag him closer, desperate for him.

There is silence in the room as his words make their way beyond the shield I have kept up for so long. For protection against anyone who would try to hurt me. Or who would be indifferent to my wants and needs. I perfected it with my husband, but it is useless against Maddox.

His chest heaves as he struggles to breathe, brushing him against my breasts, teasing the tender flesh. I can feel how hard he still is, pressed against me, notched between my thighs. I want nothing more than to strip us both down, to let him fill me and wash away my fears and doubts. Just as I open my mouth to beg him to take me out of here, to get me somewhere we can do just that, I feel that we’re not alone.

“What in the actual fuck is this?” Jameson’s deep voice booms in the small space, startling us both.

Maddox refuses to move, his eyes searching mine, pleading with me to stand with him. To prove I feel something. And, if I doubted I did before this moment, I know better now. Looking into those eyes, eyes that are not of the boy I knew back then, but of the man he is now, I feel everything.

I let myself fall in love with someone I have no right to love.

“Maddox, want to answer that for me, bud?”

I push back at the wrong moment. I put distance between us out of fear, out of shock, out of uncertainty. It is enough to hurt Maddox. To pierce his heart right in front of his best friend. I am forced to watch him bleed out as he backs away even more, his mouth twisting in a cruel grin.