Page 77 of Wrecked

I head for the door, needing to get as far away from the look of disappointment on her face as I can.

“Cooper, wait!”

I pause at the door and turn back. “Yeah?”

She walks up to me and throws her arms around my waist, holding me tight, comfortingme, when I’m the one who hurt her. When she says, “I love you,” clear as a bell, my heart shatters. “And I love Sam. It’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. I couldn’t be happier for the two of you.”

“Beth—”

What I was going to say is cut off when the apartment door opens and Jamie and Gus stride in. Jamie drops the dog’s harness, and Gus runs to greet Beth.

“Did you see Sam outside?” she asks Jamie. She sounds worried. “He went to find you.”

Jamie frowns. “No, I didn’t see him. But I’m sure he didn’t go far. Do you want me to go find him?”

“No, that’s okay,” she says.

It’s time for me to leave. If I’m lucky, I’ll spot Sam outside and have a chance to talk to him again. “I’ll see you later, Beth. You’re coming home soon, right?”

Beth assures me she will. And then I exit the building. I stand on the front stoop for a full five minutes, hoping Sam is nearby and he’ll see me and come back. But there’s no sign of him anywhere.

I figure it’s a waste of time for me to wait for him to reappear. I don’t think he’s far at all because he wouldn’t go that far from Beth. In fact, he’s probably got me in his sights right now. If he wanted to make an appearance, he would. And the longer I stand here, the more I’m delaying him returning to Beth.

I hate leaving without having a chance to say goodbye. Especially when I don’t know when I’ll see him again.

Chapter 26 – Sam

After Cooper drives away, I return to Jamie’s apartment and knock quietly.

“Come on in, Sam,” Jamie says. “You don’t need to knock.”

I find Beth in the kitchen with Jamie. It looks like they’re cleaning up the breakfast dishes. She appears to be dressed for work. “Hey, Princess, you going to work today?”

“Yes. I saved you some breakfast. It’s keeping warm on the stove.”

“Thanks.” I carry the plate to the table and sit down to eat even though I have absolutely no appetite.

I notice Jamie quietly disappearing down the hall, and I wonder if he’s giving me and Beth some privacy.

Beth joins me at the table. “You’ve been crying.”

I swallow a mouthful of food and shrug. I really don’t want to discuss it. What can I say? I’m so in love with Cooper I can’t walk away, even when I know I probably should? He’s not capable of giving me what I need.

“You can talk to me, Sam,” she says quietly.

I scrub a hand down my face and blow out a heavy breath. “I’m sorry you saw us like that. Cooper and me. We shouldn’t have been doing that here.”

“It’s okay,” she insists. “I was just surprised, that’s all.”

My eyes tear up again. “Have you ever been in love with someone who’s incapable of loving you back?” Just saying those words aloud hurts. “And no matter how hard you try to stop loving him, you can’t.” I close my eyes tightly in an effort to stem the waterworks. “And every time he snaps his fingers, you come running like some poor, pathetic puppy desperate for his attention.”

I open my eyes to see poor Beth staring at me, her face wracked with pain and sympathy. “Sam.” She lays her hand on my arm. “So, you’re in love with Cooper, but you think he doesn’t love you?” Her tone of voice tells me she doesn’t believe it. “Why do you think that? Did he say as much?”

“Not in so many words, no.” I laugh. “He’s not a big talker, you know. But I know he doesn’t feel the same way about me as I do him. He wants tofuckme, yes, until we’re both sore.” Okay, that was probably TMI, especially going by the expression on Beth’s face. “But he doesn’t love me. I’m his dirty little secret.”

I lean back in my chair and let out a pained, harsh groan. “I can’t take much more of this! Things have got to change. If he won’t claim me in public—” I shake my head, feeling utterly defeated because he’s not going to change. “God, I can’t keep doing this, Beth. He’s tearing me apart, bit by bit. The problem is, that man owns me, heart and soul, and I don’t know how to leave him. I need him like I need air to breathe. How in the hell do you quit breathing?”

Oh, great. Now Beth’s crying. I watch as she wipes her eyes and cheeks. “I don’t know, Sam,” she says, her voice breaking. “Maybe you just shouldn’t give up on him.”