Page 62 of Wrecked

Is he ashamed of us?

Is he ashamed of being gay?

He’s certainly not ashamed enough to keep out of my bed. Or, hell, out of my body. He’s such a contradiction. He won’t claim me in public, but when we’re alone, he wants me with a hungry desperation that takes my breath away.

Tears burn the back of my eyes, and I squeeze them shut.

“Stop feeling so damn sorry for yourself,” I say out loud. “You’ve got the man. He comes to your bed every night. He reaches for you every night. He makes sure you’re a shaking mess before you come.”

Just be happy with that. Having only part of him is better than having nothing.

I hear his key in the lock. My apartment door opens quietly, then closes with a soft snick. I hear him turn the deadbolt.

Cooper makes a stop in the bathroom. The toilet flushes. The water runs in the sink as he washes his hands. And then I hear him brushing his teeth.

A moment later, he walks into my bedroom, effortlessly navigating the dark, and stops at the foot of my bed. “If you want me to leave, I will,” he says quietly. “I know you’re angry about tonight. I’m sorry.”

I’ve lost count of how many times he’s said he’s sorry, as well as how many times I’ve forgiven him. But what choice do I have? I can’t bear the thought of losing him.

I raise my arms to him. “Don’t go.”

I hear him stripping off his clothes. Then he climbs into bed with me, naked, his body radiating heat like a furnace.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come tonight,” I confess. “Not after the way we left things earlier.”

He pulls me close and runs his hand up and down my back, warming my bare skin with his rough, calloused hands. He presses his lips to my forehead. “Wild horses couldn’t keep me away from you.”

His words say one thing, but his actions tonight said something else. “You didn’t even acknowledge me at Jamie’s.”

“Sam—”

“You could have at least said hi.” My throat is so tight, it hurts. My voice is near to breaking. “You could have said,Hey, Sam. Long time no see.Or,Hey, Sam, how’s it going?Nobody would have given it a second thought. In fact, you probably drew more scrutiny because you pointedly ignored me rather than said a simple hello.”

“Sam, I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you to apologize.”

“Then what do you want?” I can hear the frustration in his voice.

“I want you to care enough about me to do the bare minimum. You could have said any of a million things to me tonight, but no. You wouldn’t even look me in the eye. At least treat me with as much courtesy as you’d treat a stranger.”

I turn away from him, rolling onto my side. I don’t want him to see me cry. It does no good.

He rolls to face me, spooning me, and wraps an arm around my waist. When I try to move away, he tightens his grip. He presses his face into my hair, his warm breath washing over the nape of my neck. “It’s not my intention to hurt you, Sam.” He sighs. “I—” He breaks off, and I don’t think he’s going to say more. But then he adds, “I care about you. A lot.”

Just not enough.

Cooper falls asleep with his face pressed to the back of my head and his arm tight around my waist.

Chapter 22 – Sam

Right before the penthouse elevator doors slide open, I remind myself to remain aloof and treat Cooper like I would any other co-worker, and not let on to Beth that Cooper spent last night in my bed.

I walk into the kitchen to see Beth and Shane both seated at the breakfast bar, finishing up their breakfast.

“Good morning!” Beth says to me as she gulps down the last of her coffee and wipes her mouth on a napkin. She hops off her stool. “I just need to brush my teeth, and we can go.”

“Take your time,” I tell her as I step back as she rushes past me to the suite she shares with Shane.