He caught himself looking sheepish."Sorry.I tend to ramble when people let me talk about physics."
"No, don't stop," she said, surprised to find she meant it."It's refreshing to hear someone be genuinely excited about something."
Something flickered across his face - understanding, maybe."Not much of that at parties, is there?"
"Not much," she agreed quietly.
* * *
Ashley's brainfelt like it might actually melt.She stared at her Behavioral Psychology textbook, the words swimming before her eyes.How had she forgotten so much?And why did every theory have to have some old white man's name attached to it?
"If I have to memorize one more cognitive bias, I'm going to lose my mind," she groaned, face-planting into her notes.
Their study nest had taken over the floor of the dorm room - textbooks, notebooks, and flashcards scattered around them like academic confetti.Empty coffee cups from three different campus cafes formed a small army on Sarah's desk, and a half-eaten pizza balanced precariously on Ashley's bed - their sustenance for the past five hours of studying.Marie sat cross-legged on the bed, highlighting entire pages of her Political Science text in various neon colors.Sarah sprawled on her stomach on the floor, her long legs kicked up behind her as she muttered physics equations under her breath.
"At least you don't have to understand quantum mechanics," Sarah muttered, aggressively erasing something."Why did I think physics would be an interesting elective?'Oh, I'm good at math,'" she mimicked herself in a high-pitched voice."'How hard could it be?'"
"Eddie warned you," Marie said, not looking up from her highlighting."But you thought he was just being dramatic."
"Eddie thinks everything is dramatic," Sarah shot back."But yeah, okay, maybe I should've listened when he said it would melt my brain."She brightened suddenly."Oh!But speaking of Eddie - guess what?He got me a summer research position with Dale Westwood."
Ashley's head snapped up."Summer?"
"Yeah!Apparently, Dale needs research assistants for his quantum whatever project, and Eddie recommended me."Sarah grinned."I get to stay on campus all summer.Granted, I'll be drowning in physics, but still."
The word 'summer' hit Ashley like a physical blow.She hadn't even thought about it - in a few weeks, everyone would leave campus.Cole would graduate, disappear for months, and then...
"You okay there, Ash?"Marie asked, peering at her over a tower of textbooks."You look like you just saw a ghost."
"I'm fine," Ashley said automatically."Just...brain dead from studying.Seriously, how do people do this?Everything I thought I knew about psychology seems to have evaporated."
"That's because you're overthinking it," Sarah said, rolling onto her back and holding her physics notebook over her head."Like this equation.If I stare at it long enough, it starts looking like ancient hieroglyphics."
"Pretty sure that's not how physics works," Marie teased.
"Pretty sure that's not how anything works," Ashley muttered, but her mind was racing.Summer research.Staying on campus.Access to the physics department.Access to...
"Do you think..."she started before she could stop herself."I mean, would Dale maybe need more than one research assistant?"
The room went quiet.Sarah lowered her notebook slowly, eyebrows rising.
"You?"Marie asked carefully."For physics research?"
"The same physics you've been complaining about all semester?"Sarah added."The physics you said, and I quote, 'makes you want to drop out and become a professional dog walker'?"
Heat crept up Ashley's neck."I'm not terrible at math..."
"Honey," Marie set down her highlighter, "there are easier ways to stalk Cole Westwood than torturing yourself with quantum mechanics all summer."
"I'm not stalking him!"Ashley protested, then quieter, "I just...I'm not ready to not see him for three months."
The room went quiet.Sarah sat up, her expression softening."Ash...you've got it bad, don't you?"
Ashley pressed her palms against her eyes.They had no idea.How could she explain that every day without Cole felt like drowning?That watching him with other girls was killing her, but not seeing him at all might be worse.
"Hey."Marie slid down to sit beside her, bumping their shoulders together."We get it.Well, we don't get why it has to be Cole Westwood of all people, but...we get it."
"God, at least pick the nice twin," Sarah teased, but her smile was kind."I'll talk to Eddie.Maybe he can put in a word with Dale.But you're helping me with this psych final in exchange."
