I’m annoyed when I find no message from her, not even a response to my last text hours ago asking what her plans were tonight. Thoughts of her at some ritzy party with a bunch ofpreppy country club dudes run through my mind. Drinking expensive champagne until she’s grinding against them like she did me. Do they do that at fancy parties?
It doesn’t take much alcohol for her to loosen up. Maybe she’ll be searching for someone to kiss at midnight. I shove my phone in my pocket, irritated with my own fucking thoughts.
I wander around, stopping at a couple of food trucks to pass the time, but by nine o’clock, I’m so fuckin’ bored, I walk back to my truck and take a nap.
When my alarm wakes me up an hour later, I drag my ass from the truck. Tanner is already pulling shit from the van. Liam and Travis are nowhere to be seen. I shake off a yawn and help him load our instruments onto our utility carts. Liam’s drums are the biggest pain. Thankfully, we only needed to bring our instruments. They already have amps, speakers, and a soundboard set up. We were able to do a quick sound check with it all yesterday.
“Dude, where were you?” Travis asks as he walks beside me, just in time to miss the heavy lifting.
“I took a nap.”
His jaw pops open, face twisting in disgust. “A nap? Are you fucking kidding me, grandpa? All this entertainment and you take anap?”
I nod.
He scoffs. “I don’t even know how we’re friends.”
“Someone has to keep you in line.” I elbow him in the ribs, knocking a grunt from him.
Once we reach the stage area, we stand back and wait. We still have a few minutes before the act in front of us is done. I did some research on them out of curiosity. They’re a band of middle-aged men playing metal music and still rocking.
That could easily be us in ten years. Even if we never make it anywhere bigger than right now, we’re not going to stop. Wecan’t. It’s in our blood, pumping through our veins. It’s what keeps us alive—sane.
I can’t think of anything I could ever love more than this, more than music. It’s embedded in my soul. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to.
I step away from the guys and walk to the edge of the water, trying to catch a peaceful minute. I text my mom, noting my message to Olivia is still unanswered, then silence my phone and slip it in my back pocket.
I suck in a breath through my nose and close my eyes.
Love you, Dad, miss you. Watch over me. Don’t let me screw up.
At ten minutes till eleven, we’re setting up behind the large makeshift stage. I scan the crowd, allowing myself a moment to appreciate the large group of eager-looking people. They’ve been cheering loudly all night. I could hear them from my truck.
Travis taps the mic. “Check, check.” Then gives me a thumbs-up.
I tighten the black strap on my guitar and position it across my chest, running my fingers along the embroidered words that line up right over my heart. I swallow down the painful sting, like I do before every show.Never give up. Love, Dad.
A leggy blonde struts past us. “You guys ready?”
We all nod. She climbs the stairs and walks to the front of the stage just as the other band files past us.
“All right, everyone. Let’s hear it for our next act, Loose Threads!”
The crowd claps, and a few screams ring out. We look at each other once, a little check before we start. Then we walk on stage.
I stroke the string, signaling the start of the song. It’s just me for the first few notes, then Liam joins in, kicking his bass drum.Once Travis starts singing, everything else fades away. I don’t hear the cheers of the crowd. I don’t see the lights. I’m lost in my head. Lost in the moment where everything is right in my world. I wish I could stay here forever.
My fingers fly across my guitar with an ease I’ve perfected over the years. My body tenses once the chorus picks up, anticipating the bridge coming. My fingers know exactly what to do, strumming the strings of my Fender Stratocaster. The one my dad gifted me on my eighteenth birthday. It’s a sixties special edition and means everything to me. I have other guitars and have to switch it up sometimes, depending on the song, but this one is my favorite.
Travis breaks off the song, amping the crowd up as we flow into the next track. The energy in the air shifts, climbing higher and higher, matching the beat Liam is pounding. Travis walks to my side of the stage, tilting his head at me. We feed off each other’s energy, the crowd too, as we jump around wildy, so much adrenaline pumping through us.
Liam beats on his drums behind us like his life depends on it. Tanner stays in his corner, never straying too far, focusing on his task as if he’s walking his dog, not playing music in front of hundreds of people. He’s our odd man out, but he’s good at what he does.
Travis and I belt the lyrics out in his mic before he hops around, fucking with the other guys—kissing Liam’s head and smacking Tanner’s ass—as he sings. The guys have tried talking me into singing lead on a few songs, but I’m not interested. I don’t mind adding background vocals, but I don’t want the attention that comes with being the lead singer. Travis was born for that role.
This right here is when I feel most alive. I forget the world exists outside of this moment. There’s nothing before or after, only now. Just me and my best friends doing what we love. Iforget that my dad is dead, that my sister is gone, and that my mom is alone. I’m not sad or pissed at the world. I feel good. It’s a high that doesn’t compare to any drug. I know, because I’ve tried to find it. Chased it even after my dad died, just to see, but it’s only this that makes me feel this good. This guitar and these fucking songs, with these three guys.
I close my eyes and sink into the lyrics I wrote.
