“Well, no. But—” Her eyes grow wide. “You were watching?”
“I didn’t have a choice!” I shriek.
“Did you like it?”
I throw a pillow over my face and scream into it, refusing to answer. It’s not that I wanted to watch, but there wassomething about him. Commanding and alluring. It was the way she fell to her knees for him, yet he was watchingme.
She places a hand on my leg. “I’m not judging you. It’s just—I’m kind of jealous. What a meet-cute. You can’t tell your kids about it, or, well, anyone really, but it’s hot.”
“Ellie, be serious.”
“I am! You’re overreacting. They probably didn’t even know you were there.”
I give her a look. “He definitely knew. He was, uhm, talking to me. I think.”
Her eyes widen and she sits up straighter. “Spill it.”
“I mean, he was staring right at me, like the whole time, and when I tried to look away, he said ‘don’t stop’.”
She fans herself with her shirt. “Shit, that’s so hot.”
“It’s humiliating!”
“Oh.” She sighs, patting my leg. “My sweet girl.”
“So yeah, I don’t think I want to hang out with him again.”
“Why? I know you think he’s attractive, and I know he wants you. I’ve seen the way he’s constantly watching you. Besides, you’re already past the whole BJ thing. That’s old news.” She waves me off as if it’s nothing.
“He’s not my type.”
“That’s exactly why you should go. Your type hasn’t been working out so well, no offense. Try something new. You never know what could happen. If nothing else, we’ll see a movie, do some dancing, and have fun.”
“I don’t know, Ellie.”
“Don’t you want to enjoy our last bit of freedom? In a couple months, we’re going to graduate and be forced to get real jobs, with responsibilities and bills. You’re going to move home under the watchful eye of your mom. I don’t want us to have any regrets when we leave this place. You haven’t really been living, Liv.”
A sinking feeling takes over as I listen to her words, each one ringing true. Ellie’s been living her best life for the last three and a half years, doing exactly what she wanted, while I watched from the sidelines, doing what’s been expected of me. I kept perfect grades. I studied hard, volunteered, tutored, and dated the guy my parents loved. I’ve done everything for everyone else. I deserve to do something for myself, be a little reckless. At least try to.
“Well?”
Before I can talk myself out of it, I nod. “I’m down.”
She screams, tackling me in a hug. “Yes!”
The days seemto drag by. Without classes and studying to keep me busy, I’ve had too much free time on my hands. I’ve been crocheting a bit, something that normally helps me relax, but I can’t seem to focus. My mind keeps drifting to Penn and the pending double date that’s not really a date. I’m nervous, almost sick about it. I’ve been trying to hype myself up, but I’m not doing so hot.
I’ve almost talked myself out of it thirteen times since the conversation Ellie and I had on my bed. I was feeling confident then, but I’m second-guessing everything. It’s too late to back out now.
I’m flipping through my closet when she strolls in, wrapped in only a towel. “Can I borrow your moisturizer?”
“Of course.”
“Thanks. Gotta make sure I’m all smooth, you know?”
I laugh and step out of my walk-in closet with a couple skirts in hand. “So, tonight’s the big night?”
She sits on my chair and lathers her legs with lotion. “God,I hope so. Probably would’ve been sooner if I hadn’t gotten so tipsy at his house.”
