Penn pulls his truck into an unloading spot near the airport entrance.
“What are you doing?” I ask, frantic. “I’m going in with you. Walk as far as they’ll let me. I want to watch your plane take off.”
He gives me a smile that I can tell is forced. His blue eyes don’t hold any light behind them. I hate this. I want him to be happy. This should be the most exciting time of his life, and it feels like I’m weighing him down somehow.
He shakes his head as if he knows what I’m thinking. “It’ll be too hard for me to leave you if you go in. I might end up saying fuck it and stay.”
“It’s going to be great.You’regoing to be great. I’m so proud of you, Penn. Have I told you that?” I rush out, trying to say all the things I was going to say as we waited on his plane.
He smiles again, and this time I swear I see a little spark. He kisses the back of my hand, then tugs me onto his lap. “Fuck, Barbie. I’m going to miss you.” He kisses my forehead, my nose, then my lips.
“I’m going to miss you, too. I’m going to come see you.” The moment I knew he was leaving, I’d already started mentally planning a visit. Without my parents’ finances, it’s going to be tricky, but I have money in my savings.
“I love you, Olivia,” he breathes against my cheek.
I close my eyes and inhale him, committing the smell to memory. “I love you, too.”
He slides me gently off his lap and hops out. He opens the back door and grabs his bag, and I roll the window down so I can say goodbye one last time. He leans in, gripping my face and kissing me again. This one is harder, rougher, like it pains him. I feel it, too. It’s as if my chest is caving in on its self.
“Careful on your way back. You have my most precious cargo.”
I huff dramatically and stroke the steering wheel. “Don’t worry. I will not wreck your truck.”
“I don’t give a fuck about this truck. I’m talking about the girl in it.” His blue eyes sear into mine, thumb stroking my jaw.
Oh, my poor heart.
I stare at him, unable to form words. Instead, I kiss him, sucking his lip ring for good measure.
He groans, stepping back, but doesn’t let his hand fall right away. His eyes stay on mine for a long moment, then he sighs. “I’ll call you when I land.”
I watch him walk away, taking a piece of me with him. The clouds overhead turn dark as if the universe can sense my turmoil.
I’m probably cutting it close to the ten-minute parking limit. As soon as he’s out of sight, I let my lip tremble. Tears roll down my cheeks the entire drive back.
50
OLIVIA
Two monthslater
“Well, this is…”
“It’s not that bad!” I assure Ellie as we walk through our home for the next few nights.
“Babe, I can still book a hotel. It’s not too late,” Ellie says.
“No, this is perfect!”
It’s not, but it’ll do. I wanted us to pick a place within my budget, which is next to nothing now. This Airbnb is small but…cozy and super close to where the band is playing this weekend. Not to mention cheap. We can ignore the broken shutters hanging off the windows, the cracked drywall, and the peeling linoleum. The faint whiff of cigarette smoke will be harder, though.
A loud bang makes us both jump. “Shit, was that gunshots?”
I peek through the busted blinds. “No. Uh, there’s construction over there.” I have no idea if that’s true, but she seems to buy it.
Ellie and I pick our rooms—which are pretty much thesame. Cheap metal bed frames, a single dresser, and a tiny closet. I sit down on the bed, and it squeaks.
“Thank God I brought my headphones!” she calls from her room down the hall.
