Olivia’s eyes are watery by the time I’m finished.
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner, but everything happened so fast. That night, my phone died, and I left it on charge with every intention of calling you, then shit just got away from me.” I run my hand through my hair.
My mom cried for an hour when I showed up with Pacey yesterday. It’s been an emotional few days, to say the least.
“I’m sorry. I had no idea you were going through all that. I wish I could’ve been there for you.” She grabs my hand, and I link our fingers together, relief filling my veins instantly.
“It’s not your fault. Fuck, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I felt like if I talked about it, it made it real, ya know? I just couldn’t accept that that was her story now, and I was embarrassed at how I treated her. I should’ve done more.”
“Penn—”
I cut her off. “No. I’m her older brother. She was only eighteen when our dad died, and I wasn’t there for her. I could’ve helped her. Instead, I let her drift away and get addicted to drugs, all while I continued to live my life.” I was battling my own demons, but it doesn’t matter.
Olivia’s thumb strokes my hand soothingly, her voice soft. “I know you think you could’ve saved her, but you couldn’t. Only Pacey could save herself. You were grieving too.” She runs her other hand over my face, and I lean into her touch, my eyes falling closed. A sense of peace washes over me. The heavy weight that’s been sitting on my chest for days lifts, and I can finally take a breath that’s not painful.
“I said horrible shit to her.” My voice is hoarse with regret. “I told her it was her fault. She was sad over some guy who broke up with her. They hadn’t even been dating that long, but my dad wanted to make her feel better. He took her out for ice cream, and they were walking along the sidewalk when an old man had a stroke while driving his car. He took out a stop sign before he ran over my dad.”
She stiffens at my admission. I’d left all those parts out when telling her about my dad because it’s hard to relive. Most people hear car accident and assume he was driving andwrecked or something, but no. This was worse, and I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it’s been for Pacey to deal with, being there and having to witness it. She still refuses to talk about it.
I swallow the ache, and Olivia kisses my face, her cheeks wet with tears.
“That’s awful. I’m so, so sorry,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “You’re human, Penn. You were hurting. It’s not too late to apologize, but it seems like she’s already forgiven you. She came toyouwhen she needed help. When she was ready.”
I bury my face in her chest, and she drags her fingers through my hair, across my face, touching me everywhere. My body goes lax in her arms, and I must pass out because the next thing I know, she’s shaking me gently. “Penn, let’s go to bed.”
I sit up and rub my eyes. They’ve been stinging and begging for sleep for days. “What time is it?”
“After two.”
Shit.I check my phone.
Travis:
girls are staying at my place tonight. See you tomorrow.
I breathe a sigh of relief. Travis is a motherfucker sometimes, but I trust him with my life and my baby sister.
“Everything okay?”
I stand up, bringing Olivia with me. “Yeah. Pacey is staying with Travis. Ellie, too.”
I crawl into bed next to her, and she faces me.
“I missed you,” she says quietly. Almost like she’s unsure she should tell me.
“I missed the fuck out of you. How was your visit?” We haven’t had a chance to talk about anything. I have no idea what came up because she never said.
“I don’t want to talk about that.” She brushes a finger over the hoop in my lip.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“I don’t want to talk at all.” She licks her lips and my dick twitches. Ready and waiting since she opened the door in nothing but my shirt. Even though she thought she was mad at me, she was still wearing it.
I cup her cheek. “Tell me what you want.”
