“Thanks, Mal,” I say.
She smiles at me, one of her signature ones that is small but certain. “You’ll figure it out, Rach. I know you will. The best is yet to come, right?”
“Right,” I say as I lean onto her shoulder, letting her wrap me in a side embrace.
But what I don’t say out loud is that I’ve been lining so many clouds in silver for the last six years that I think I’m about to run out of ink and skies.
Maybe little girls who dream big don’t really become women with big visions, but instead, become women who simply chase disappointment.
Chapter 3
Evan
It’sFridayafternoonandI’ve added 1,212 words to my manuscript over the week. A word count that I normally crank out in one morning, sometimes in one hour.
The worst part?
I don’t even like any of the words I’ve written. They’re just there. On my screen. Grammatically correct, of course, but subpar in content at best.
Lily doesn’t knock when she enters—she never does—and with her she brings the aroma of musk and vanilla. It must be a new perfume because I’ve never smelled this one. Lily is always trying new things, happily attached to the constant changing of seasons and trends.
“I hope your word count has been good,” Lily teases, as she pushes me out of my leather chair so she can sit in it.
She settles in, pulling her elbows up onto my desk, resting her chin on her hands, reading the sparse addition to my manuscript. Then, her face expands into something that can only be defined as gobsmacked, and I smile at it.
“You can’t kill off Barrett!” she screams. “That’s the death of the series, not just a character!”
“I’m not actually going to do it,” I lie while doing some standing lunges, the movement pumping blood through my restless veins.
The truth is, I’ve considered ending Barrett’s life. Barrett is like my best friend, but sometimes you outgrow friendships, and lately I feel like maybe the lack of inspiration is because I need to part ways—meet someone new. In my mind, obviously. Imaginary people were a lot less of a risk than the real kind.
“Barrett is all you have, Evan!” she exclaims furiously.
“Barrett is not all I have.” I sigh with an eye roll for dramatic effect before dropping to the floor and beginning a set of fifty push-ups. “He’s just been what I’ve had to work with for the last seven years.”
“Thirteen novels and counting.” Lily’s frustration is evident, and I must admit, I prefer her frustration to her meddling.
However, I shouldn't be delighting in anything at all. Not with the current facts at hand. My word count is meager, I have no idea where I'm going with this book's ending, and I'm about to go on tour to promote this unfinished book that I'm not even sure I want to finish. If anything I should be anxious and panicked.
“I won’t kill him.” But the words sound flat even to my own ears.
“Well, the manuscript is due in two weeks, and Melanie wants to meet next Friday about this fanfiction proposal,” she reveals. “Have you messaged BarrettBeyondTheBadge about it yet?”
I roll over onto my back, looking up at the drop ceiling stained by water leaks. I make a mental note to email the landlord about replacing the tiles.
“Yourfanfiction proposal,” I clarify, standing up from the floor. “I want nothing to do with it.”
Lily smirks at me, her lips a shade of purple to match her violet jumpsuit. “I can call Melanie if you’d like, tell her that you’re signing up for Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat.”
“Snapchat?” I question, completely oblivious to the apps that keep people addicted to their phones.
“Yes, Snapchat,” Lily says, all too cheerfully. “The app where people send disappearing messages, post random updates to their Story, and use filters to make themselves look like puppies or anime characters. It’s basically texting for people with commitment issues.”
I stare blankly at her. “That sounds exhausting.”
“Oh, it is. But it’s what the youths love, Evan. And if you don’t message BarrettBeyondTheBadge, I’m making you sign up and post a selfie with heart eyes and glitter cheeks.”
“Fine,” I mumble.
