Brushed her thumb back and forth over the name listed.
Eve Grayson.
He waited for her to look at him, and when she did, he laid his soul bare. “I love you, Eve. Everything I am, and everything I have, is yours. Staying with me—being with me—involves risk. But I promise you, no one will ever work harder or go further to make you happy and keep you safe. I want you to stay. I want you to be my wife. I want you to have my babies. You belong to me, but more than that, you’re a part of me. A part of my family. A part of the JTT. But you need to do what’s best for you, and if that means you need to choose a different option, I’ll understand, and I’ll support you no matter what.”
With the words out, he felt lighter. Whatever came next, the choice was hers. He might be the leader of a black ops unit hell-bent on protecting their country from a domestic threat determined to undermine democracy, but body, heart, and soul she commanded him.
Didn’t matter which option she selected.
Eve was it for him.
And he loved her enough to let her go. To a degree. He hadn’t lied. She could have her old life back. Free of him. Free of the danger surrounding him. She’d never know he continued to keep watch. Continued to love her with every piece of himself. He’d do it. Walk away. Be a ghost. For her.
Her eyes were bright while she searched the depths of his. Her hands steady as she picked up the diamond solitaire and slipped the ring onto her finger. Her smile breathtaking when she cupped his face with both hands. “I already told you. I pick option three.”
“Are you sure? There are risks involved, and—”
She silenced him with the gentle press of her lips. “I love you,” she said. “No matter what happens, I’ll always choose you. I want to stay. I want to be your wife. I want to have your babies. I belong to you. And you—Adam Grayson—belong to me.”
Her words filled him with hope and her gentle kiss spread sunshine through his veins. He’d never forget this moment. It made him. Turned him into a man with a future. A man who’d found his forever. Eve had chosen him. Trusted him with her life. Her happiness.
Yeah, they could be separated by entire solar systems, and he’d still find her.
Die a thousand deaths, and he’d still love her.
She belonged to him. In this life and the next.
And he’d never let her go.
“Soundsto me like you feel a real sense of belonging,” Dr. Christina said.
“I do.” Eve smiled at the woman through the camera housed in the computer Jay set up for her. Sitting at the desk Cody and Zander had moved into her new treatment room, this was her second conversation with the doctor in two days. “But how can I trust what I’m feeling when I’ve been so wrong in the past?” She’d believed in her ability to judge people before. To recognize the good from the bad. But after the Matthews…
“Trust is the foundation of all relationships, including the relationship we have with ourselves, but it’s also a fluid thing. Something that’s earned moment to moment through action and words. You said you trust Adam. That you feel safe with him. That you can rely on him for comfort, care, and support.”
Eve registered the weight of the ring on her finger and looked down at the diamond set into the platinum band. Did she believe Adam loved her? Yes. That he’d do whatever was necessary to earn and keep her trust? Yes.
He wasn’t the problem.
She was.
“He’d never do anything to hurt me. Not on purpose.”
“So why not rely on your trust in him while you begin to rebuild your trust in yourself?”
Eve had full confidence in Adam. Had witnessed his honor. His integrity. He’d told her the truth from the beginning, starting with his real name and ending with the circumstances surrounding the JTT. Bit by bit, he’d placed his trust in her, but after everything, how did she believe in herself?
How did she know what she felt for him was real?
The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him.
But the thought of leaving, of making a different choice, had her heart seizing and her lungs freezing. She couldn’t envision a life without him, and it scared the ever-living crap out of her.
“You don’t have to have all the answers today, Eve. You’ve been through a major ordeal and suffered substantial losses. It’s normal to want to protect yourself. To be on the defensive. You need to give yourself time to process your feelings. To allow your nervous system the opportunity to rest and reset. Self-trust is born in the choices we make today. Living with regret for the past or fear of the future robs us of opportunities to learn and grow in the here and now.”
“One day at a time,” she replied, echoing the advice Dr. Christina had given in yesterday’s session which pretty much consisted of Eve weeping all over Nalini’s virtual couch.
“Exactly. Part of earning trust is acknowledging and taking responsibility for the mistakes we make. But giving your trust to the people you love isn’t an error in judgment. It doesn’t make you an accessory to the transgressions or crimes they committed without your awareness. The faith you give to others that they will choose to do the right thing isn’t a reflection on you. You didn’t make those mistakes or choices for them, and when you became aware of them, you acted to stop any harm from coming to others.”
